Page 3
My mind races through everything I’ve been through in the past three weeks, everything I’ve lost and all of the pain I’ve kept bottled up for most of my life and all of the dreams I had for a future with him as the hurt in my chest only intensifies.
When I was meeting with the funeral home, was Ash screwing Holly in my bed? The thought sends my body into motion and I chuck the figurine in my hand against the wall again before picking up another one.
While I was in the hospital, learning that my mother died instantly from a blood clot, was he fucking Holly in his car? I throw the little glass figurine in my hand against the wall and it shatters, drawing another scream from the whore’s mouth as Ash jumps out of bed and starts walking toward me with his hands up. He’s still completely naked and I can smell the sex in the air. Plus, he’s got about five damn hickeys on his neck. My stomach rolls and as I look over at him, I wonder how in the hell I was ever attracted to him.
“Hey, let’s just talk about this, babe.”
Arching a brow, I grab a candle off of the shelf, staring at it as I imagine chucking it at the wall, too, before shaking my head and setting the candle back down. “You know what? Let’s not. It’s not fucking worth it. I’m leaving now and when I come back in the morning you and your slut need to be gone or I’ll call the police.”
Turning away from him, I walk back over to the door with my head held high and grab my bottle of wine as he calls my name, begging me to come back and talk to him but I ignore his pleas and step outside, slamming the door behind me and it feels symbolic for the end of our relationship. As I descend the stairs, I expect to feel the sadness of my lost relationship or the sting of Ash’s betrayal but I don’t feel anything. Maybe, in the scope of all of the shit that has happened in my life lately, walking in to find Ash screwing my co-worker just doesn’t rank. Or hell, maybe I’m just numb to it all now and someday soon, it will all come crashing down on me and destroy me. Either way, the only thing I want to do right now is get away from here and drink.
Jumping back in my car, I toss the bottle into the passenger seat and whip out of my parking space before turning toward the main part of town where I can find a hotel room for the night. As I drive along the coast, my gaze flicks to the mountain range where my dad’s plane went down again before falling to my mom’s ashes in the seat next to me. I’m sure Ash doesn’t know it, yet, but he has just ended things with me and with our relationship officially over, there is nothing else keeping me here in Alaska. Everything in this place just reminds me of all that I have lost and I can’t stand to be here anymore. As I pull into a parking lot of one of the hotels downtown, I put the car in park and dial Lincoln’s number.
“Row?” He answers after a few rings, his voice groggy and I wince. Shit. I always forget about the time difference. “Are you okay? It’s one in the morning.”
I nod, releasing a breath as my big brother’s voice calms me. “Yeah, I’m… okay. I’ve just been thinking about the last time we spoke…”
“Yeah? And?”
“Does your offer still stand? To move there, I mean.” My belly flips with nerves or excitement or maybe both as I wait for his answer. He sucks in a breath.
“Of course, Row… but, are you sure you’re okay? You sound off.”
I let out a humorless laugh as I think about the last month of my life and shake my head. “It’s been… interesting…”
“Yeah, okay. I get it,” he says when I don’t say anything else and I sigh, leaning my head back against the seat. “How soon do you think you’ll be here?”
“I don’t know. I have some things I need to wrap up here.” My mind drifts over the things I need to do, like quitting my job and packing up the apartment before I realize that everything I actually care about will probably fit in the back seat of my car and take me all of an hour to pack up. “Actually, never mind. I can probably be on the road in two days.”
He sighs. “What the fuck is going on, Rowan? You don’t sound like yourself and you’re really starting to fucking worry me.”
“I promise I’m okay, Linc, and I’ll tell you all about it as soon as I’m in Louisiana, okay?” I bite my lip as he lets out another heavy sigh and I wonder if he’s actually going to let me get away with this. Lincoln tends to be overprotective, especially after our sister Nora was killed by her crazy ex-boyfriend eleven years ago, and I know that even if he lets me off of this phone call without telling him what is going on, he’ll worry himself sick about it until I get to Baton Rouge and spill my guts. Finally, he groans.
“Fine, but you bet your ass that as soon as you step foot in Baton Rouge, you are going to tell me everything.”
I roll my eyes and fight back a smile. “So fucking bossy. Hasn’t your wife broken you of that nasty habit yet?”
“Girl, I fucking wish!” Tate, Lincoln’s wife, hollers from the background and I laugh, feeling lighter than I have in days.
“Shut up before I shut you up myself, woman,” he growls at her. I bite my lip to hold back the giggle as I shake my head. Tate is not a woman I would ever want to mess with but apparently, my brother likes playing with fire.
“You’re getting stupid in your old age, Archer.”
“Who in the fuck are you calling old, woman?” he yells and I can’t hold back my laughter any longer.
“Okay, well, I’m going to let you go deal with that but I’ll call you before I hit the road,” I tell him and he hums in agreement.
“Damn right, you will. I want constant updates so I know you’re safe, you hear me?”
After promising to call him with nightly updates and reassuring him that I can take care of myself at least four times, I finally manage to hang up. As I step out of my car and turn toward the hotel where I’m staying tonight, I’m surprised by how hopeful and excited I feel about this move and I can only hope that it turns out to be just the thing I need to heal all this hurt I’ve been carrying around.
