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“Um… about what I said… we can just pretend I didn’t… I mean, I know this… between us… is casual and…”

He sits up, cutting off my words, and leans over me, pressing a soft, adoring kiss against my lips. I sigh, my eyes closing as I cup his cheek and lose myself in it. If this is going to be the last time, I want to savor every second of it. When he pulls back, he flashes me a smile but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I love you, too, Rowan… even though I shouldn’t.”

I balk. “What do you mean you shouldn’t?”

“Listen,” he sighs, lying back in the bed as his body tenses and he cups my cheek like it brings him some level of comfort. “I haven’t been completely honest with you… about me… and I’m not good for you, Row. You deserve so much better than what I can give you.”

“What in the hell are you talking about?”

He sighs. “It’s kind of a long story…”

“Then start at the beginning,” I snap as my mind races and my heart thunders in my chest.

What is happening right now?

Is he breaking up with me?

Does he really love me?

“Okay… the beginning… I guess the beginning is when I was born.”

My eyes widen but I don’t dare say a word, silently encouraging him to keep talking. His hand shakes against my face and I grip it with my hand, holding him steady. He takes another deep breath.

“My dad… he was never what you would call warm and honestly, he never really even gave me the time of day but I never knew any different so it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

I open my mouth but he looks down at me and shakes his head.

“Just let me get this out before you ask anything, okay?”

“Okay,” I whisper.

“When I was fifteen, my mom picked me up from school one day and all of our shit was in the back seat. She said we were leaving my dad and I didn’t ask any questions, you know? I guess I didn’t really care because he and I never really had a relationship. Anyway, we got a little apartment in the next town over and we went on living our lives. When I turned eighteen, I wanted answers from my dad about why he was the way he was so I drove over to the house. He wasn’t there but I was determined to have it out with him so I sat in my car for hours, waiting for him to return but when he did…” His voice breaks and I glance up at him, my chest aching at the pain all over his face.

“What, Travis?”

He shudders. “When he came back, I watched him pull a woman’s body out of the trunk of his car. I was so fucking horrified that I couldn’t move and I just sat there, watching him, as he took her into the garage and closed the door.”

My chest feels tight as his story plays out in my mind and I look up at him, the man I love with every single cell in my body and a tear streaks down my cheek. He glances down at me and his face crumples as he wipes it away and presses his lips to my forehead.

“I was already pretty good at all of the computer stuff back then,” he says, holding me tighter as he continues. “So I started a full-blown investigation into my father and the things I saw… the things he has done… they still haunt me to this day, baby.”

I tip my head back and press my hand to his cheek, pulling his gaze down to me. “Tell me.”

“I… can’t. I’ve never fucking told anyone about this except the police and you… you are my shelter from all of this shit. I can’t put this in your head.”

I nod in understanding. “Then tell me what happened next.”

“It was all an incredibly slow process but over the next year, I managed to collect enough evidence of his crimes to go to the police. I showed them everything I had, everything that proved my father had started killing women who looked just like my mother two months after she left him, and then I waited for them to make their move and arrest him.”

“And did they?” I ask, my stomach churning and he nods.

“Yeah, they did… but not before he came after his true target – my mother.”

I gasp, more tears falling down my cheeks. “He killed your mom?”

“Yes,” he whispers, his voice barely audible as he nods his head before burying it in my hair again and my heart cracks wide open, breaking for him as I cling to his body, wishing I could provide him with something more.