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“Come on, lady. I’ve been waiting for days!”
“You need a Xanax,” I say, getting a little bit of pleasure from making her wait a little longer. Her eyes practically bug out of her head, and she looks like she’s about to explode.
“Alison Marie James! Now.” Her voice leaves no room for argument so I sigh and launch into telling them about the article and the first date.
“Idiot,” Izzy snorts when I tell them the part about the obstacle course.
I nod and continue telling them about the rest of the date, and when I finish, Izzy’s mouth is hanging open.
“Oh, no, he didn’t,” she seethes, and I nod.
“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction. Hence, why I called you.”
Shaking her head, she takes a big sip of wine. “Sweetie, if that had been me, I would have been calling you for bail money.”
I point at her and nod. “I just reminded myself that orange was not my color.”
“What about date number two?” Carly asks, hope in her eyes that maybe it wasn’t as bad.
“Ah, date number two was Zach,” I say and begin to tell them about the dinner from hell. When I finish, they’re both giving me looks of sympathy.
“Well, that’s fucking awkward,” Izzy says, taking a sip of her wine, and I laugh.
“Uh, yeah, you can say that again. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that fast in my life.”
“I would ask if date three was better but since you called me from the bathroom, I’m gonna say no.”
“Yeah, no,” I reply and begin telling them all about Blake. When I’m done, both of their mouths are hanging open, and they’re silent.
“Je-sus,” Izzy draws out before finishing off her glass of wine.
“I honestly have no words,” Carly says, staring dumbly at the table, and I nod. That was about how I felt last night after I snuck out of the restaurant and came home. It was like a nightmare, and I started to question if it really happened.
“Who even does shit like that on a date and where the hell did you find these guys? I mean, how short do you have to be on brain cells to call a woman a breeding machine? Just give me their names and I’ll make their lives a living hell, I swear to god,” Izzy rants, and I just shake my head, knowing she needs to get it out of her system.
“Honestly, it doesn’t matter now. I need to decide if I’m gonna play Mr. Klein’s game or tell him to go screw himself.”
“Did you already write the article?” Carly asks, and I nod.
“Yeah, but I don’t know if I’m gonna send it in.”
“Let me see it.”
I grab my computer and open it up, the Word document still pulled up on the screen as I slide it over to her. She leans in closer to the screen and starts reading.
“And you,” Izzy says, pointing at me as she narrows her eyes. “What the hell were you thinking going out with three fucking strangers without telling anyone? What if one of them had cut you up and put you in their freezer? How would we have known?”
I know she’s got a point but I just wanted to get the whole damn thing over with, and I knew if I talked to them about it, I would be even more negative on my dates.
“I was careful,” I tell her. I never let any of them know where I lived and always met them somewhere. They don’t even have my phone number. The only way they can contact me is through the dating website.
“Um… no, you were the exact opposite of careful. You didn’t tell either of us about this. You could have disappeared without a trace and we would have had no way of knowing where to start looking for you.”
“Does it matter now, Iz? It’s done and over with. Look. Here I am, safe and sound, in one piece.”
“You got lucky,” she huffs, crossing her arms over her chest for a second before uncrossing them and pouring herself some more wine.
“I really like it, Ali,” Carly says, pushing the computer away, and I smile. Whenever someone tells me they like what I wrote, I can’t help but grin. “But you’re right. Mr. Klein is not gonna be happy with it.”
