Page 1

Chapter One

Addilyn

Can’t Help Falling in Love by Ingrid Michaelson spills out of the speakers, twisting through the yard, and a hush falls over the guests as the ceremony begins. Elm trees are scattered across the property, their branches dripping with cream-colored paper lanterns and strings of pearls that I spent the better part of yesterday hanging. The sun is just sinking below the line of trees behind an altar overflowing with white and pink roses and calla lilies where Nix waits for his bride. Trey flashes me a grin as he takes my arm and loops it through his, and we start down the aisle. People turn and smile up at us as we pass by, one side of the aisle fitted out in mostly black leather while the other is dressed to the nines in gorgeous dresses and suits. It’s a perfect representation of just how different Emma and Nix are but also how amazingly they fit together. If there were ever two people made for each other, it’s my best friend and her soon-to-be husband.

Trey releases me with a quick smile when we reach the end of the white aisle runner, and I take my spot next to where Emma will stand under the arch of flowers, turning just in time to see Tucker and Daisy reach the end of the aisle. He kisses her hand, giving her a look of such intense love that I suck in a breath as my chest aches for something that I so desperately want for myself. Daisy takes her spot next to me just as the guests turn to the end of the aisle where Emma stands next to her daddy, Michael, in a gorgeous V-neck sheath dress with a beaded lace overlay. Everyone is in awe of her but she only has eyes for Nix, who looks up from his spot as Emma beams at him.

She practically floats down the aisle, her gaze never once wavering from her man, and he stares back at her with such devotion that it’s hard to keep my own emotions in check. When she reaches the end of the aisle, he holds his hand out for her, and I hear a few sniffles from the crowd. You can see their love in every look, every touch, and it’s too much to hold in, emanating from both of them until the air is thick with it.

God, what it must be like to be loved like that.

“Who gives this woman to this man?” the preacher asks.

“Her mother and I do,” Michael says, his voice ringing out through the yard with pride as he passes his only daughter’s hand off to her future. Nix clasps her hand and guides her up under the arch where she passes her bouquet to me before turning back to look at him. Being where I am, I can see every emotion passing across Nix’s face, and I can almost imagine what it would be like to stand up in front of all our friends and family and have the man of my dreams look at me like that. But that’s just a dream – a dream that will never reach fruition.

Thinking back to three short weeks ago, this day could have been so incredibly different. What could have been the worst day of our lives, as Ryan came for Emma one last time, turned into something beautiful for everyone. She fought for so long to escape and reclaim her life that standing here today as she says her vows to the man of her dreams feels a little surreal. And with Ryan dead, she’s finally safe. She’ll never again look over her shoulder and wonder if her ex is lurking around the corner just waiting to strike. She’s free – something I’ll never be again, and I can’t help but feel jealous as I look around at all the things that I’ll never have.

I’m the shittiest person alive. I know this because there is no one that deserves this more than Emma. After the horrors that she survived while living with Ryan and even after leaving him, she more than earned a happy ending. But still, the jealousy twists in my gut, and I’m angry that I’ll never put on a pretty white dress and walk down the aisle to a man who looks at me like I hung the moon. I want it, this incredible piece of heaven she’s found with her soul mate. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything else in my life but that doesn’t change anything.

Some people just aren’t meant to have a happily ever after.

“Emma and Nix wanted to prepare their own vows, and they will exchange them now,” the preacher says, snapping me out of my daze. I glance around, hoping that no one noticed me lost in thought as I push back all these emotions and try to focus on this amazing day.

Nix smiles down at Emma before beginning. “Emma, I’ve always considered myself to be just a regular guy, and I was happy in my life until the day I met you. You showed me how much better things could be by just being around you, and I knew in an instant that I would do whatever it took to make you mine. I was living a monochrome life and it was nice, comfortable. But the moment you stepped into my shop, vibrant color exploded into my world and I could never be without it, without you. You are, without a doubt, the strongest, most incredible person I’ve ever known. Your beauty, inside and out, lights up entire rooms. There aren’t strong enough words to describe what you do to me. You render me speechless. Your love knocks the wind out of me. I promise you that I will work every day to be the man and husband that you deserve. I can’t promise that it will always be perfect because we are both pretty realistic people and know that’s not true, but I can promise you that no one will ever love you more than I do. I’m so incredibly lucky that you said yes to me. I love you.”

Emma and Daisy both sniffle on either side of me, and I’m fighting back tears of my own.

“Emma,” the preacher prompts, and she clears her throat.

“Nix, for a long time I was pretty pissed off at life. I didn’t understand why I had to go through the things I had suffered through. It didn’t seem fair. Then, I got to thinking the other night and I wondered what would have happened if I never met Ryan. It didn’t take me long to realize that I probably would have never met you. So, in spite of the pain and suffering, I’m glad for it now because it led me to you. And I would do it a hundred more times if you were waiting for me at the end. I’ll never be able to thank you enough for all that you have done for me, but I can promise you that I will never run from you. You are my partner, and we will weather whatever storm comes our way, together. I love you with every piece of me, and I’m so lucky that I get to call you mine and the father of my children. I love you.”

Nix coughs, doing his best to cover up a few stray tears that I saw streak down his cheek, and I beam at them. Knowing that one of my best friends found a man that loves her so completely and will take care of her fills me with so much joy.

“Repeat after me,” the preacher instructs, handing Nix a simple silver band. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” Nix says, sliding the ring onto Emma’s finger.

“Emma, repeat after me,” the preacher says again, handing Nix’s ring to her. “With this ring, I thee wed.”

“With this ring, I thee wed,” she repeats, sliding the ring onto Nix’s finger.

“By the power vested in me by God and the state of Louisiana, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” the preacher says. “You may now kiss your bride.”

Grinning widely, Nix cups her face in his hands and pulls her into him, kissing her as cameras flash from the crowd. He leans down, whispering something in her ear, and when he pulls back, his boyish smile is on full display.

“It is my honor to introduce Mr. and Mrs. Phoenix West,” the preacher calls, and everyone begins cheering as they both turn toward the crowd with big grins on their faces.

* * * *

Draining the whiskey from my glass, I slam it back to the bar and turn to look out at the crowd, my vision blurring slightly. I’m actually impressed with how well this all turned out. Daisy and I spent the past two days putting this whole thing together for Emma, and it was all worth it when she came through that back door, her face lighting up as she took in all our hard work. It reminds me so much of when we were little and we would hold mock weddings in Emma’s backyard, dreaming of a Prince Charming that would come riding in on his white horse and sweep us off our feet. Of course, nothing that our little six-year-old brains could dream up on the subject of love comes close to the way that Nix looks at Emma any time she’s near.

My gaze drifts to the side of the house where we set up a dance floor and DJ booth, lined with strings of lights that cast a warm yellow glow over the guests below. I smile at Emma’s parents, Charlotte and Michael, off in a corner of the dance floor, acting like two kids in love as they sway back and forth to Kiss You Slow by Andy Grammer. It’s amazing to me that even after thirty-two years together, they still look at each other the way Emma and Nix were staring at each other today. I suppose it certainly helps that they are such amazing people. After everything that they’ve done for my mom and I, they will always hold a special place in my heart.

My gaze wanders across the floor, taking in all the happy couples dancing together, and my chest hurts. Tucker dips Daisy and her giggles echo across the lawn as he leans down and kisses her neck. I look away as my eyes burn, only to find Nix and Emma in the middle of the dance floor. He’s got his hand on her belly, leaning down slightly as he says something, and Emma grins, running her hand down the back of his neck. He straightens and whispers something in her ear, his hand keeping a loving, protective hold on her little bump, and she nods, winking at him.

Turning back to the bar, I suck in a breath and slowly blow it out, willing the tears away and motion to the bartender for another drink. He grabs a glass from under the bar and fills it up before setting it in front of me. I down it, my throat burning, and my eyesight getting a little hazy for a second. Too bad the only thing this alcohol is doing is fucking with my vision. I sure could use some numbness right now but the more amber liquor I pour into my body, the more my anger and jealousy increases. I motion to the bartender for another, and he sighs, shaking his head as he starts filling my glass again.

“I think she’s had enough, Rob,” Trey says from behind me, and I fight the urge to level a glare at him, instead, slipping behind the happy-go-lucky mask that I’ve perfected over the past year. He sits down on the bar stool next to me as Rob places a glass of water on the bar in front of me.