Page 20

I think she’ll probably fuck me up for anyone else. That’s a heavy thought for someone I just met yesterday. Maybe that’s just my desperation for solid ground. Whatever it is, I’ll think about it tomorrow. For now, she’s the only thing I’d like to feel.

We fuck, the bed hitting the wall. I’m lost in her, in her big blue eyes, in the way her breasts heave and she bites her lip as I thrust in. I wish I could do more to impress her, but I’m right on the edge faster than I intend. She does this thing where she tightens, her spine rising off the bed, nails scraping along my back. I come, pulling out at the last minute. The room goes so quiet, I swear I hear the cows and birds outside the window. Slowly, I ease onto my back beside her.

“Sorry,” I say after a minute.

She blows out a long breath. “You should not be sorry. That was amazing.”

“You were amazing,” I say.

She laughs and then goes quiet. “Do you regret it?” she whispers.

“No. We’re both adults.”

She nods, chewing her lip. “I know, but you’re supposed to be here all summer.”

“I can be one and done and act professional.”

I get up, stripping off the condom and finding my sweatpants from the drawer. She pushes herself up and slides beneath the sheets, pulling them over her breasts. Her eyes follow me as I disappear into the bathroom to wash up When I come back, she gives me a smile that makes my stomach jerk pleasantly.

“You want something to eat?”

“I think there’s sandwiches on the floor. I packed extra.”

Our eyes lock, and she bites her lower lip. I’m not sure what to say, because all my canons are firing, my palms sweating. I really like her, more than I should. How am I supposed to think straight when she’s looking at me with those damn eyes?

I’m not so tired right now.

“Yeah,” I say. “I’ll go get those.”

I leave the bedroom and pick up the basket. The only thing that hit the actual floor was the chips, but there’s still sandwiches and a thermos. Grabbing some water from the fridge, I bring it into the bedroom and set it out, feeling like a male bird offering grass or something. She inspects the sandwiches and then nods in approval.

“They look alright.”

I sit against the pillows. “I don’t think we should really tell anyone.”

“You ashamed?”

I shake my head. “No, but I kinda think your dad might kick my ass.”

She has some sandwich. “He might. It sounds like Jamie might too.”

“Yeah,” I agree.

Neither of us speak for a few minutes. We just eat. I think about how many sandwiches I ate growing up in this lonely part of the state. My entire summer was comprised of them. Being raised by a single mom, we didn’t have a lot of money, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were a cheap, daily staple. Chicken salad is a hell of a lot better, but it chokes me up with something I have difficulty swallowing.

She dusts off her hands. I do the same.

“I should go,” she says.

She sits up, but I put my hand on her thigh to keep her from rising. Our eyes meet, and there it is again, a soft warmth that feels like it could be home.

“You can stay,” I say.

She shakes her head. “I don’t want to risk anyone seeing me leave in the morning.”

There’s a long silence.

“I don’t want you to think I’m just doing this because that’s what I do,” I say finally.