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Then I turned my attention fully to him. JJ's eyes dropped again.
"You."
His shoulders hunched. I put two fingers under his chin. "Look at me." He did. Barely. "I am not disappointed in you. Only at the choice you made. Those are not the same thing. I’m not scolding you anymore. You apologized. Max is well. But there is going to be a consequence. I want you to feel this was serious and feel that you are forgiven afterwards. Are you okay with that?"
“Yes, Daddy,” he said, trembling.
I got up. I looked at Mikey and Sawyer.
"You two can stay if you want. Or you can leave."
Neither moved. Of course they didn't. JJ glanced toward them. Sawyer leaned back against the headboard.
I sat on the bed and patted my thigh.
"Come here, baby," I told JJ. He stood and came over with considerably less drama than usual. He laid himself across my lap. I rested my hand on the small of his back. I rubbed his back once.
Then I began.
I kept the spanking hard, nothing like the playful impact he usually tried to provoke out of me. Didn't tease him. Didn't let him turn it into a performance either. It was only my palm against his butt, which was getting warmer and warmer, pink, and then red, and then crimson. He started struggling, but I saw him making effort to be in place. His breathing got shakier as the warmth built. The first tears came quietly, more from emotion than pain, and I slowed instead of escalating.
That was enough. I rested my hand against his back.
"Tell me what you're learning."
He swallowed.
"That helping isn't deciding for somebody."
"Good." I rubbed slow circles between his shoulder blades. Then, I kept going until I saw he was visibly struggling. I gave him a few final measured swats, then stopped. No belt. No escalating until he broke. No making him prove anything. Just enough for the ritual his mind needed.
I kept my hand resting against him until his breathing started evening out again.
"It's done. The spanking is done. You understand?"
"Yes, Daddy."
"You're forgiven."
That broke him. JJ covered his face with one hand and started crying properly. I gathered him up before he could apologize for that too. He curled against my chest, all long limbs and damp cheeks and messy blond hair. I held him. Mikey immediately crawled closer. Sawyer followed more slowly, but he came too. Mikey wrapped his arms around JJ from one side. Sawyer put a hand on the back of JJ's neck from the other.
JJ laughed once through the tears. "You're crushing me."
Nobody moved. Good. I kissed the top of his head.
"That's because you're dramatic," Sawyer said, that forever banter going on between them.
"I'm emotionally fragile," JJ said.
"You're annoying," Sawyer answered. JJ turned enough to glare at him.
"I was having a moment."
"You've been having a moment since 1998."
JJ gasped. Mikey giggled. I laughed too. But then I looked at all three of them. I had one more thing to say.
"One more thing."