Page 51

"Sounds like a good idea. Where do you want to go?" I asked.

"How about that Butterfly Garden? You've been asking to go for a while now."

"Oh my gosh, I'd love that," I said.

"Then go get ready," he said.

I got excited. I finished breakfast, washed the dishes — I always tried to do little things for Daddy. It made me really satisfied — and went to my room. On days when I was feeling small, I'd definitely want to wear one of my dresses, but this time I put on one of my adult outfits — a plaid flannel shirt, my brown leather jacket, and jeans. There was that late-October chill in the air, but it was my favorite kind of weather — cold enough that we could keep the fireplace going every day. And of course, the fireplace at The Hearth was always going too. On top of that, Halloween was coming up, and it was one of my favorite times of year — when everything got spooky but also really cute, and we could get candy and dress up. The Hearth always had events for it.

Daddy got ready too and we headed to the car. Since he'd noticed I wasn't in little space, we talked about normal stuff instead of him treating me like a baby. He put on Linkin Park on the radio — he was the one who'd taught me to like rock; before that I only listened to pop. We talked about the band's new lead singer, who I thought was really good, and I sang along. The song was beautiful.

We got to the Butterfly Garden, and I noticed it was all decked out for Halloween, and a sign at the entrance said: Come pick your own pumpkin at our pumpkin patch.

"Hey, that's actually really cool," I said. "I bet JJ would love that. Should we pick one out for him?"

"Of course, sweetheart," Daddy said.

We went in, paid for our tickets, and headed to the room where the butterflies were kept — it was like a giant glass greenhouse, full of plants that didn't care about the cold outside, and butterflies flying everywhere in different colors, sizes, and shapes.

"This is so amazing," I said, watching the butterflies fly around near Daddy.

One of them landed on my arm — it had big orange-and-red wings with little dark spots. I showed it to him and let out a loud laugh. He smiled at me the way that always made me melt, like I was the most important person in his whole world. Suddenly I felt myself relaxing, and I felt baby getting comfortable enough to want to come out. When I noticed that, I let out a sigh of relief and another giggle and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

"Daddy," I said, my voice coming out higher than before. "Can we go see more butterflies over there?" I felt my voice go softer and more excited, the way it always did when I was little. He noticed right away.

"Let's go, champ," he said, in that special way he called me when I was in baby mode.

That made me feel even happier.

We spent ages there, watching butterflies fly around — tiny blue ones, big white ones, fuzzy moths, butterflies nearly the size of my face, and tiny little yellow ones that fluttered together around the flowers. The flowers themselves came in every shape and color, all of them gorgeous.

When we were done, we headed out through a little gift shop, and I saw they were selling chrysalises that would eventually become butterflies.

"Can we get one, Daddy?" I asked.

He laughed, but said: "Better not, baby, or we'll end up with a new pet, and I don't think Bola would like that."

I laughed, picturing our cat dealing with our new butterfly pet.

"Fair point."

"But why don't you get one of these?" He pointed at a moth plushie, which had a really fuzzy, soft body, two little green wings, and tiny black eyes. It was the most precious thing I'd ever seen.

"Really? I can?" I asked, excited.

"Of course you can, sweetheart," he said, and kissed my forehead. "Pick whichever one you want. Daddy will buy it for you."

I couldn't even believe it. I was the luckiest baby in the whole world — I told myself that while I picked out a moth that seemed to be staring right at me. The plushie was big enough for me to hug against my chest, and it made me so happy. He bought it, and I walked out hugging it.

We saw the pumpkin patch, which was amazing and stretched out as far as I could see, with a pine forest rising behind it. I wondered if they also grew Christmas trees back there — it would make total sense. There were tiny pumpkins, medium ones, and giant ones, and I pointed at an enormous one.

"Daddy, can this one be mine?" I asked. "No, this one's going to be Sawyer's" — I decided that myself. "JJ can have a medium one, since he's the middle brother, and mine's going to be really tiny, like me," I said.

He laughed.

"Okay, sweetheart. And which one's going to be mine? Why don't you pick one out for me?" he asked.

I looked around for the biggest pumpkin I could find, examining the texture of the skin, the color, the size.