Page 5

I’m wiping down the counter and the bakery case. Everything has already been stored away for the evening, and now I’m disinfecting before the morning crew comes in. But Clare is staring at me. She’s asking me questions, and I can’t help but wonder why.

Straightening, I turn to her, leaning my hip against the counter. “I’m as good as I can be. Why?”

She presses her lips together, rolls them a few times, then releases them and lets out a heavy sigh. “I’m having a little lunch thing Saturday. I wanted you and Thea to come over to my place.”

I’m not sure why she would come down here and act nervous to ask me to come over to her place for lunch. Clare and I have been friends since we were fourteen. We ate raw cookie dough when we didn’t have a date to the dance.

“Sure… is there anything I need to be worried about?”

My heart races at the question, wondering if she’s going to fire me or something. The setback would be devastating, but I would figure something out. I feel like that’s been my life since finding out about Thea… devastation, a setback, and then figuring it out, and rinse and repeat. I sure as hell can do it again.

“No, no,” Clare says, lifting her hand and waving it around slightly. “Nothing bad,” she adds.

I’m not sure why, but I don’t believe her. I narrow my eyes at her and wait for the shoe that, without a doubt, is ready to drop right in front of me. She takes a step toward me, then another. I blink, unsure of what to do as she reaches out and wraps her hand around mine. She squeezes my hand gently, then smiles.

“Briar is having a baby,” she whispers.

I don’t know why she’s acting like this is something that affects me. Briar has been married for over a year, and we’re the same age. It’s not surprising that she’s married. What’s actually surprising is that, in our friend group, I’m the only one who has a baby.

“Okayyy….” I say, letting the word hang in the air around us.

When Clare continues to just stare at me, I arch a brow in question, waiting for whatever has her visibly upset, or at least worried that I’m going to be upset.

She wrings her fingers together in front of her stomach, then inhales a deep breath, holding it for a moment before she lets it out slowly. I’m not sure why she’s acting like she’s walking on eggshells to give me the reason for this party.

I’m happy for Briar, and I’m a bit concerned as to why she would think I wouldn’t be.

“What aren’t you telling me, Clare?”

She exhales her breath in a heavy sigh. I don’t think she’s annoyed with me, but I very much think that she’s avoiding telling me this for a reason she’s decided would be upsetting to me, though I really can’t see how.

“It’s just that she’s married and having a huge celebration just for the pregnancy announcement. I didn’t want you to be upset, because it’s a lot. And…”

“And I didn’t get that because I got knocked up by a guy whose name I don’t even know?”

Clare laughs softly. “I don’t know why, but I thought it would upset you. They seem to have it all, and you’re back here.”

Well, if that’s not a kick-you-in-the-ass kind of comment, I don’t know what is. I know she’s not saying it to be a bitch, but at the same time, it feels like she’s being just that. I know I’m here, desperate, and asked her for a minimum-wage job in an attempt to rebuild my life.

I know I have a baby with no father.

But I also know that the last thing I want from anyone is pity.

And that’s exactly what she’s serving me right now.

“Clare,” I whisper. “Don’t pity me, please. I don’t think I could stand it.”

She blinks, squeezing my hand again, but I pull away slightly. She might say she doesn’t pity me, but I can see it in her eyes. My brows snap together, and I look up at her. Something dawns on me, a realization that I didn’t even think about when I moved here. I was only worried about my parents, about my baby.

“Are you inviting me because Briar was afraid to?” I ask.

“We just don’t want you to feel bad. There’s a lot of celebrating, and we don’t want anyone to be upset, that’s all.”

I shake my head once, my heart slamming against my chest harder and faster than I think it has in a while. I slide my tongue across my bottom lip to wet it as I think about how to respond to her.

My initial knee-jerk reaction is to tell her to fuck all the way off. I don’t do that, though. It would be mean, and I don’t think she’s being malicious. So instead of telling her to fuck off and kick rocks, I throw her a smile.

“I’m not going to be upset because someone else’s life trajectory is different than mine, Clare. I won’t go if you don’t want me to, but I would love to celebrate Briar and her new chapter.”