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Balancing the box in one hand, he reached into his pocket with his other and pulled out his keys. Instead of driving his Yukon, he’d been using his dad’s old pea green station wagon to get around lately. It still smelled like him—a mixture of Old Spice and tobacco—and he found it comforting on some level. Like his dad was still around. He hadn’t bothered to lock it—who in their right mind would steal such an eyesore? Climbing in, he set the box on the passenger seat and turned the key. The engine cranked to life, but a distinct clunking sound made him cringe as he put the car in drive. He’d have to get that checked out.

“C’mon, ol’ girl, you still got some life left in you.” He patted the dashboard and pressed down on the gas pedal. Arm hanging out the window, he pulled out of the parking lot and prayed he’d never have to step foot in that place again.

As he drove along the country road, soaking in the perfect July day, he pushed the cassette tape into the ancient player, turning the dial up. It seemed to sputter for a moment, but then the twang of an old country song filled the air. His dad loved classic country music, and he remembered when he used to sit in the passenger seat and listen to his dad sing the lyrics or hum the melody. Nodding his head to the beat, Lex wondered if maybe a trip to Texas would cheer him up. His dad’s sister, Aunt Maribel, lived there with her brood, including his younger cousin Rake who was a Navy SEAL. He knew Rake had separated from the Navy recently, so maybe they could bond over a few beers as they talked about adjusting to civilian life.

Hell, his cousin was more of a player than Lex had ever been. It was pathetic to think, but maybe the kid could give him some pointers on how to get back in the game.

Truthfully, he didn’t really feel like playing a game. Not anymore. At one point, he’d been the king of the game board. No strings, just a guaranteed good time. He never pretended to be something he wasn’t, and women knew exactly what they were getting when they slept with him—an orgasm or two and a kiss goodbye. He never made promises he didn’t intend to keep, and he made that abundantly clear before anything got physical.

But after seeing how damn happy his friends were now that they’d found their partners, he was curious if he could find that, too. Lately, he’d had this yearning tug deep within for something more. Truthfully, it had gotten so strong that casual hookups had stopped happening a while back.

Okay, more than merely “a while back.” He did some quick calculations.

Shit. More than a year?

Fucking unheard of. Unless he was deployed or in training, he rarely went more than a week since he’d started having steady sex back when he was sixteen.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and glanced at his reflection in the rearview mirror. What was happening to him?

It was more than just a dry spell, though. The mortifying memory of his last near-hookup reared its ugly head. That particular liaison had ended…badly. As in, he hadn’t been able to get his head in the game—neither head. Worry and stress over his dad’s health hadn’t helped the situation. The woman had been attractive, but his body had refused to cooperate. Fucking humiliating.

He’d given her some lame excuse and then hid away, refusing to leave his house for a week. Trying to pretend it was a one-off. But if he was being honest with himself, the lack of action happening below his belt concerned him. Enormously.

Lex did his best to keep up the pretense and to continue projecting his normal charm and swagger. Once, he’d subtly tried to ask his buddy Jayson Knight if he ever had any performance issues, but he’d said he was having more sex than he’d ever had in his life. Of course, that was after he’d fallen in love with Sabrina. Before her, the single dad had practically been living a monk’s life.

None of his buddies understood. How could he expect them to? They were all having a ridiculous amount of sex. And there he was, terrified his best days were over and his poor dick was going to wither up and fall off.

With a shudder, Lex decided to head to Old Glory, Brandon’s bar, where his friends would all eventually turn up. He needed their banter and good spirits to cheer him up. It was prime tourist season, so the bar opened earlier on Saturday than during the off times. He figured he could grab some greasy comfort food and douse his sorrows in free liquor. Because Brand never charged his friends. Not since he’d been with Julia, anyway. He was too busy giving her googly eyes.

It was barely four o’clock when Lex pulled into the lot and grabbed one of the last few parking spots. Within the hour, the lot would be full and the place would be absolutely packed. July in Montana was ideal for world-class fly fishing, whitewater rafting, hiking and camping. Adventure seekers often stumbled onto Old Glory and word about it spread quicker and quicker each year. Despite its outward appearance, the place was so much more than a dive bar. Brand had somehow turned the out-of-the-way location into a thriving business, one that possessed a cool, cozy and welcoming vibe.

The moment he stepped into the busy place, his attention zeroed in on the corner table where his crew always congregated. Brand was there with Julia, of course, as well as Jayson and his wife Sabrina, and Weston Murphy and his wife, Ellie. When Lex spotted Lottie and Sera working behind the bar, he wasn’t surprised to see their doting husbands sitting on stools, chatting with each other while also keeping a close eye on things. Who would’ve guessed grumpy Chaz would be happily married to Lottie, the sunniest woman Lex had ever met, and now the father of two little ones? Or that Corydon Emerson would ever leave his mountain cabin and socialize? The poor guy, a former Navy SEAL, had dealt with some serious PTSD, and Sera had been an absolute godsend, helping him through so much. In return, he’d done the same for her. It had been pretty amazing seeing two broken people find and heal each other.

“Hey, Battle!” Lex paused as Xander Hawke strolled in on his heels, his arm around Essie, his expectant wife who positively glowed. They’d been through hell a few months ago, but you’d never know it. The former CIA agent had been consumed with revenge and determined to destroy a powerful cartel in Mexico. He’d achieved his goal, and in the process, he’d also ended up falling hard for the cartel king’s sister. Now they were newlyweds and putting a nursery together for their first child.

How things had changed from just a year ago.

Lex and Xander bumped knuckles. “Hey, Hawke. How are you, Essie?” Lex nodded at the small brunette.

“Getting bigger every day,” she announced, sounding truly happy.

“The countdown to baby Hawke is on,” Lex declared as they walked to their table by the large fireplace, the others offering up their typical warm welcome of cheers and handshakes. “Are we taking bets yet on whether it’ll be a boy or a girl?”

“My money’s on a girl,” Brandon announced. “And Hawke is going to lose his shit when she starts dating.” Everyone laughed.

“She isn’t allowed to date,” Xander stated in a firm, flat voice. He placed his hand over Essie’s stomach, leaned down and whispered, “You hear that, princess? Boys are bad and Daddy knows best.”

“One day she’s going to find a man as wonderful as you,” Essie predicted, and a flash of horror passed over Xander’s face.

“God, I hope not. If he’s anything like me, I’m going to wind up having a heart attack.”

Essie pushed up on her toes and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You’re perfect, mi esposo,” she whispered.

They sat down and Lex grabbed the open bottle of whiskey, pouring himself a hefty glassful. Time to forget his sorrows. As the last silver fox standing in the Motley Crew, he’d never felt so left behind. Like he was on the fringes, watching everyone else celebrating engagements, marriages and the births of their children. Meanwhile, he’d just buried his dad and couldn’t get it up to save his life.

It really fucking sucked. He hated being such a sad sack and wanted nothing more than to get back to being his old self. A charmer who ambled through life laughing, always ready with a joke. Carefree, confident and damn secure in the fact that his equipment could still do its job.

But how could he go back to that man again after so much in his life had changed? It felt fucking impossible.