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“Don’t want to see your kids?” she asked.
“I’m sure you think that,” I muttered. “I don’t want to see them hate me.”
“Well, then you should’ve—no. Never mind.”
“Yell at me again. I deserve it.” My head fell onto her shoulder, and I got to take her in. I could accept her anger if I got this too.
“That would be kicking someone when they’re down. And you’re really down. And heavy.”
“You can say it. I’m a failure. I know it.” I sighed. “I wish I had someone to tell me what to do. Someone to be there for me. How can I be there for the girls when I never got that? I’m trying, but I’m bad at this.”
“Why did you have kids then?” she asked. “You always said you wouldn’t.”
The words hung thick in the air. This might be a dream, but getting the truth out would feel good.
“I wasn’t supposed to. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
“This is what I get for asking this when you’re drunk. Only you could be cryptic when wasted.”
“Jade, it wasn’t supposed to be me.” I repeated it uselessly.
“You said that already.” She rolled her eyes. “Repeating it doesn’t make me understand.”
“I know,” I muttered. “Some days, I don’t understand either.”
“So, they were a surprise?”
“No, they were Alice’s.”
She flinched. “And now I’m hearing about your ex. God, what am I doing?”
“Alice isn’t my ex.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re still with her. That would make this far worse.”
“No!” I nearly yelled it, but I needed her to understand. “I never dated Alice.”
“What?” She huffed. “Yet, you had kids with her? What, was it a one-night stand gone wrong?”
“No.”
“Then something doesn’t add up. Gabriel, they’re your kids. Anyone can see it.”
“They were Alice’s. Not mine.”
“They look exactly like you.”
“Yes, they’re mine biologically, but I was never supposed to be their dad.”
“What does that mean—”
“I was just the sperm donor. Literally. She was my assistant—no, friend—and I helped her out.”
Dream Jade used a hand to pull me off her shoulder. Our eyes met and she watched me closely.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Alice wanted kids by herself. She tried to go through a clinic, but couldn’t find someone good enough. Then she asked me. I never . . . They were hers.”
