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“I need to know when I sleepwalk,” I said. “I can’t make decisions about my health if I don’t know everything that’s going on.”

“You take it seriously?” I raised a single eyebrow and he tensed. “Wait, that came out wrong.” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath. It was tempting to react. Instead, I waited. “It’s good that you’re taking it seriously. You used to push it off. I guess that’s why it didn’t occur to me to tell you for that reason.”

“That’s less of an asshole reason,” I said. I let the anger fade a bit. “And you’re right. I didn’t take it that seriously. Sometimes I still don’t. But I should. I need to tell people so they can help me.”

“You should. As nice as it is to be the only one who knows, I’ve been worried about you.”

“Even more reason to tell me,” I said.

“I know.” He didn’t fight it, and the rest of the tension finally left my body.

“Why didn’t you?”

He looked away as he thought about it. “I don’t know if I have a good enough reason.”

“I want the truth, even if it was wrong.”

“When it started, we were barely talking. I . . . I missed you. I loved that you came to me, even after everything. So, I got up early each morning and took you back before you’d wake up. To be clear, I never tried anything.”

I shook my head. “I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“Still. The first time, you wouldn’t let me go. The second time, I tried to sleep on the couch, and then I figured out we were both in for a bad night of sleep.”

“Ugh,” I muttered. “I came after you?”

“Multiple times.”

“That’s mortifying.”

“Don’t pull away,” he rushed to say.

“Wh-what?”

“You do that when you’re embarrassed. And I hate it when you do.”

I blinked, thinking back to all the things I’d done when I was embarrassed.

I hid from my friends. I pretended I was fine. I did everything I could to hide it.

Or in Gabriel’s words: I pulled away.

I rubbed my hot cheeks. “All right, you have me there. But it’s miserable.”

“Sleepwalking?”

“Being weak. Needing someone.”

“I’m here,” he offered. “And when I’m not, you have your friends.”

“Already planning for the future?” I asked weakly. Deep down, I knew the truth. It was going to kill me when he left.

“It’s not good for you to depend on only me.” His voice was so low that I wondered if it pained him to say it.

“What if I want you? Just for now?”

His eyes finally met mine.

“Even though you’re mad?”