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"I guess you'll just have to see. We'll be closer to six weeks."

I stare at him. "You are disturbingly informed about my vagina."

"I pay attention and take notes for the things that matter."

"Stop teasing me. I might have to figure out how to do what you did just to hold me over while you're gone."

He kisses me, and I catch the front of his shirt before he can pull away. Apparently, one night of remembering what his mouth can do has created a problem.

He packs in nine minutes. He came in July with one bag and hasn't let this place accumulate anything of his. Socks, the two flannel shirts, his charger wound and tucked.

He changes into a clean shirt, and I ask him if I can keep the white and blue one until he gets back.

"You can have all my clothes, if you want," he says as he tosses it to me.

"Be careful what you offer. I might take you up on it."

I hold the shirt to my nose and inhale him.

His bag goes by the door. We have twenty minutes and there is nothing left to do with them. I consider asking him for a round two to hold me over, but decide that could get dicey when Lis comes back. So I bite my tongue.

Lis comes back with both babies asleep. Carson takes Graham out first, then Hildie, holding each of them longer than necessary before putting them in their bassinets.

I stay by the bedroom door and let him. When he comes back into the hall, he looks at me.

"Ten days."

"You don't have to promise me ten days."

"I'm telling you."

My chest loosens. “Now you have me counting on it."

He pulls me against him carefully, one hand at the back of my neck. His thumb finds the leather cord under my hair and follows it around to the front, where the tooth rests against my breastbone. He turns it straight the way he did on the floor of Hildie's front room on Christmas night.

I never asked him to stay in the first place. Because for the first time, I don't want to be fine without him. I want him here.

I kiss him. When he finally lets me go, I tug once on his shirt.

"Bring this one back with you. I'm taking it, too."

His mouth moves at one corner. "I'm not going to have any shirts when you're done with me."

"That's the point. Told you."

NINETEEN

Carson

You'll forget your flocks, you'll forget your herds / Rise up, shepherd, and follow

I'm on the ground in Denver by five, gray and cold in a way Florida never is, even before the winter arrives. I get my one bag off the carousel and walk out to long-term, where Eli left my truck yesterday. I decided it was cheaper to pay him to drive it there with his girlfriend than to rent a car and bother with getting it back.

Flying into Casper would have cost me another three hundred and forty dollars for two hours saved.

I dial Mackie on the walk across the parking deck.

"Hey, Cowboy. You make it into Denver okay?"