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“I’ve been in love with you since I was a boy, I just never knew how to tell you without risking my life. You are Forty’s daughter, you know?”

“Oh, I know.” I grinned, finally pulling away enough to look up at him. “I wish you would have taken me with you to see him.”

“I know.” He sighed, trailing his fingers along my hairline and pushing a few strands away from my face.

“You really want me to believe you’ve been a secret admirer since what… before you went to college?”

“I could have stayed there. Shit was stable. I had work. I came back to see…”

“See what?”

When he didn’t answer or blink, I felt my cheeks warm.

“You’ve got impeccable timing,” I teased, though my tone didn’t really carry the lightheartedness I was aiming for.

“You’re telling me.” He laughed, “I came back to save you from this stagnant hellhole, and I will, one way or another… I just didn’t realize I’d be exchanging places with you in the process.”

“I thought you said everything was fine?” I sobered slightly.

“It is supposing you don’t put me in a cell when it’s all over.”

“Guess you better do some convincing kissing before then.”

He snorted, grabbed my hand and led me toward the water.

“This shit will all be over soon,” He assured me, his tone quiet and sincere.

“I hope so.” I sighed, while fighting the urge to take my phone out and text.

I wanted to trust him, it felt good to rest my head on a solid shoulder. There was no denying that much, but I couldn’t put all my cards on the table.

Not even for him, the guy who had chosen me over his own family when the swamp of betrayal had gotten deep.

I had to think of myself before anyone.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Don’t Close Your Eyes

Royal

We spent the next several hours talking about everything, and nothing. We shared a lot of opinions, even if we came by them for different reasons.

“Preach isn’t in on this. He’s too old school, Roy. He wouldn’t move against the club. A move against the head of the pack, without just cause… Surely, that is like the greatest sin next to snitching.”

I huffed, a dry-humored sound, “I think you’re right, but I don’t think it would play out that simply. He is all of what you said, but he is also my mother’s brother. If they convince him that I am in on their bullshit, he may feel some sense of loyalty to me because of our shared blood. It would be a conflict of interest and loyalties that would probably be enough to see him walk away from the club and everyone in it. Me included. He’d be good enough to tell me to fuck off, but he wouldn’t help me if I was involved. I’m sure of that. He’s as straightforward as they come. He doesn’t spare feelings or mince words. I learned to appreciate that at a young age. I knew who pretended and who was real. Preach is a real one. He’s a good uncle, I’m glad I got to ride with him.”

“You say that like he’s already left or something.” She plucked a piece of grass off, halfway from its root and twirled it between her fingers while quizzically staring at me.

I couldn’t keep my patch. I couldn’t stomach the sight of it at this point, not when I knew Paxton was being embalmed and prepared for presentation in his. Either they’d kick me out, or I’d walk.

Neither option was safe, but I didn’t have it in me anymore.

The level of betrayal, and depths of their scheming was unparalleled. It was inexcusable, even by my own standards; and I’d forgiven a lot in my life.

I realized my thoughts were drifting, as they often did just before I surrendered to sleep.

“Do you ever wish you’d gone? Instead of denying your scholarships, I mean?”