Page 89 of A Violet Obsession

“Tell me about these subliminal messages she gave you to listen to.”

My blood turns cold sensing where his thoughts have gone. “They’re just guided meditations designed to help me relax and fall asleep. They’re supposed to build up my self-confidence while I’m sleeping.” My cheeks blaze. This is humiliating.

“They can’t have anything to do with it,” I explain. “I know what they say. It starts off loud enough for me to hear, and then after a little while they get quieter until I just hear background music. The subliminals play at a lower frequency so that they don’t wake me up, but my subconscious gets the repeated affirmations.”

I’m talking too fast. “I’d know if she’d instructed me to steal a necklace. Besides, that’s not how subliminals work. That’s movie stuff. It doesn’t force me to do things.”

“What about the hypnosis?” He persists. “You said it was part of her study.”

I blink for a second, surprised he’d remembered that detail. “She hypnotizes me during some of our sessions to work on difficult memories, but she videotapes our sessions. She’s even had me watch some of them back. There’s nothing nefarious going on.”

Even as I’m saying it, it doesn’t feel true. Because it’s the most plausible explanation for what’s happened.

My stomach rolls.

“But why?” I hear myself ask, and my voice has gone small, “Why would she do that to me?”

“I can think of thirty-five million reasons. When did you first find out you’d be auctioning the necklace?”

I sigh a little relieved. “Not until about six months ago, and I’ve been with her for over a year.”

“Plenty of time for her to have assessed whether you’d be a good accomplice. If she could make you do it.” Finn grimaces. “I’m not saying she was doing it from the beginning...”

Anger is warring with horror inside me. “They were college roommates.” My voice is hollow, the scope of the betrayal hitting me. “Dawn and Dr. Williams. Dawn and Trevor were the ones who introduced me to her. Dawn would be the one to know how valuable the necklace is.” My breath snags. “Was this the plan the whole time? Did they use me while pretending to help me?” I shake my head hard as tears flow. “The irony is that the therapy was working. Until a couple of months ago, I was sleeping better, and Dr. Williams helped me with my parents and⁠—”

My words break off with a sob, and I stuff my fist in my mouth to stop the awful noise. Finn lifts me in his arms and puts me on his lap, arms wrapped tightly around me as he rocks back and forth slowly.

“The cookies.”

I feel Finn nod against my head. “Psilocybin would have made you more susceptible, but they must have been pretty confident in their control of your mind to even risk it.”

I flinch at his words even though that’s exactly what they did. They brainwashed me.

I think I’m going to be sick.

My headache pulses harder. My poor brain. Will I ever be normal? Will I ever be able to trust my own thoughts again? What else has Dr. Williams implanted? All those months, I willingly put myself in her hands, trusting that she was helping me. All I ever was to her and the Vales was a pathetic pawn. The weak little orphan with no family or friends. No one to care what happened to me.

I straighten my spine. They have seriously underestimated the loyalty of the Markham siblings.

I finish packing the bags and put them by the door. As soon as Finn gets back from collecting his trail cams, we’re leaving for Atlanta. On my phone, back at Elite headquarters, are the programs Dr. Williams gave me to listen to. Finn is convinced that isolating the messages will exonerate me.

I hope he’s right. Though as eager as I am to have this whole thing be over, I’m sad to be leaving the cabin and this time we’ve had together. We haven’t talked about how things stand between us, and while I’m confident Finn cares about me, he hasn’t given any indication that he wants to be my boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Is that even a word adults use?

I sigh and push open the doors to the back deck for one last look at the mountains. Hera chirps next to me before bounding down the stairs. “Do not get blood on your fur before we have to get in the car.”

Hera ignores me. I send up a silent wish of luck for the poor field mice.

I sit on the sofa, trying to process the conflicting emotions inside me. I’m sad and upset, and hurt by what they’ve done to me. But mostly I’m pissed. Like blood boiling—I want to kill them— angry. They used me and were happy to let me take the fall all the while pretending they were my friends.

No wonder the other thieves swore to Voss that I was in on it.

I was.

It must have rattled Dawn to no end when I said I couldn’t remember—unless she thinks I’m lying, same as everyone else.