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And I’m just . . . this, forever. It only takes the small reminder to reignite the fear that I can’t have him, not really.

I might be beautiful, but it’s nothing more than this body. And being beautiful is the thing that’s hurt me most.

Bennett exits the conversation he’s engaged in, then eyes me and struts to my side without a moment’s pause, his hand gracing my hip so he can pull me completely into the shelter of his body.

“You okay?” he asks.

I open my mouth to reply, but pause because I spot someone first. Graying blond hair, slender build, severe all-seeing gaze.

My body flashes cold.

“Why is your ex-stepdad here?”

“Oh—I forgot,” Bennett says, sipping at the sparkling cider. “My mom decided to bring him as her date. I guess they’ve grown close again recently. She told me she thinks they’ll be getting remarried.” He presses a kiss to my temple and hugs me tighter. “The year of rekindling, huh?”

I practically swallow my tongue, tripping backward—except Bennett is holding me up. I don’t stumble.

My eyes trail Bennett’s open, gentle expression again, trying to memorize the way he looks now so I don’t forget it. Just in case. Despite every layer of growth I’ve had, I’m almost too ready to run.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He leans down to kiss the shell of my ear and then press his nose to my hair. “We can leave whenever you want.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine.” The lie slips painfully from my mouth. “I’m going to get some water. Promise you’ll be right here when I get back?”

“I won’t move,” he vows.

My hand grabs for my purse off the back of my chair, reaching for my phone to call Alessia. Just for a pep talk. Or maybe a getaway car.

I start toward the other side of the grand ballroom and spot Anna Koteskiy with two young boys. She’s kneeling in her beautiful dress, fixing the tie on the younger one while the older of the boys surveys the room. He looks like a mini bodyguard.

Smiling lightly, I relax a little. Ethan will not scare me this time.

Things are different now. Look at Sadie and Rhys. You can have this life.

“You deserve better,” I mumble to myself under my breath, tucking my phone back into my clutch.

A shoulder bumps mine, followed by a quiet, “Excuse me,” from a taunting voice I know too well. Ethan Marks, shoving into me intentionally as he makes his way over to the bar, right toward the only solo patron there.

I do a double take, scanning over the girl anxiously twittering at the bar, where Ethan has just stepped up arguably too close to her.

God fucking dammit.

My weird little roommate, Lily.

She’s teetering on her too tall heels, but the girl barely reaches five feet. She’s dressed in long white silk, stark against her pinkened pale skin. The fabric clings softly to the thin shape of her, built more stick-straight and column-esque in contrast to my curves. The only thing holding the fabric up is the halter tie around her delicate neck, trailing down her back a little unevenly, like she tied it herself. But it leaves most of her pale back exposed, and just as she starts to falter on her heels again, Ethan moves his hand to the low pointed dip of her dress.

I’m moving before I can stop myself.

I can’t hear what he says, only that he’s laughing in that same condescending way.

“Is that right? Lovely girl—”

“Don’t talk to her.” I almost growl the words. My eyes lock on Lily and I pull her wrist so she stumbles in closer to me. “Lily, what are you doing?” I snap, a little gruffer than I mean to be with her.

“I just—I wanted to order a drink. But I don’t—”

Her eyes widen, welling a little, and my chest tightens. Still, I’m too anxious to apologize.

“She wants a sparkling rosé,” I order for her. The bartender nods, a look of relief flitting my way as he pours her drink into a tall, thin flute.