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I don’t know if he’s clocked it yet, but I’m teetering on the edge of my rut. That’s probably half the reason why I’m brave enough to do this. I don’t know if it was Elliott or Tyler, maybe both, but I can feel that feral need under my skin, the part of me that feels most like me, and I can’t stop it.

I slide my pants down, and bare my cock to him, my knot, the precum sticky on the tip, my balls full beneath, more ready to breed than when I was with Elliott.

He lifts his head, and looks at me. Really looks at me. His nostrils flare. He eases himself up into a seated position at the edge of the bed. I kneel beside him, baring my neck, because I know he can read my scent like I read his.

“I’m not going anywhere, Ty. I’m done letting you lead. We tried it your way, but it’s killing you, and it’s killing me too. I know you’re scared. I know your mom got into your head, but you are not your dad. We’re older now than they were. We’re different. There’s no alpha and omega power dynamic.

“My body wasn’t made to submit to you. I’ve always given it freely, and right now I’m taking it back. You’re not made to submit to me either, so tell me to stop and I will stop. Until then I’m going to help you through your rut, and you’re going to help me through mine. And when it’s over, you’re going to love me in the daylight, in rut and out of it. You don’t get to leave. You have to choose me.”

His eyes practically vibrate as he searches my gaze. I see the gears moving in his head. I see the rational side of his brain running little imaginary experiments to test my theories. I know he’ll understand in the end. My best friend is smart. If I show him the truth, he won’t hide behind fear again.

Finally, he says, “What about Elliott?”

“I told him the truth. I loved my time with him, but I need to fix things with you.”

“Don’t you want a family someday? What if there’s never an omega? What if a year or two from now it doesn’t work?”

“I don’t give a fuck about the future. It’ll all work out as long as you and me are together.” And maybe Elliott one day. I focus on exuding all the confidence and love I have.

Tyler inhales softly.

“Do you feel that? I don’t think it’s just about knowing each other’s scent. You and I are scent matches, a pack we haven’t consummated yet. The minute you’re out of your rut, I want you to bite me.”

“Fuck, Alden,” he says, utterly wrecked.

I take his hand and squeeze, then frame his face between my hands. “This is me consenting.”

He nods, taking my hands with him.

“I trust you to bite me now, but I don’t want you getting in your head later. Do you trust me?”

“I do.”

“Good.” I rise slowly to my feet.

His dark eyes widen and lift, following my gaze. He’s beautiful like this, my best friend looking up at me, trusting me to know what he needs, to take care of him when he feels adrift.

“And once you choose me,” I continue, “I’m going to bite you too. I don’t want to wait until I’m out of my rut. I’ve waited long enough.” I thumb his bottom lip. “This is me consenting to that too. Understood?”

He nods. I smell his fear. I’m scared too. I’m trusting him not to hurt me again. If he says this is just biology in a few days, fine. I’ll fund my own damn research study to refute his claims. We’re endgame.

18 TYLER

“Take what you need,” Alden says.

Four words. Four fucking words. And I do. Right now, he’s my alpha, and I trust him.

I grip his hips and pull him onto my lap, then kiss him. A real kiss. Not one stolen in the kitchen. Not a kiss when we were drunk. Not a kiss when Alden had his first date and wanted to know what it would be like before he kissed someone else. Someone who wasn’t me.

Did he ask because he wanted his first kiss to be mine? I hope so.

I’m scared. I’m so fucking scared, but I want to believe Alden. I want to give in to the years of yearning for him. And I want to find relief and stop hurting after days of misery. I’ve been dying for days, like I’ve died every single fucking rut I’ve spent celibate. So I take what I need.

I reposition him on the bed and spoon up behind him. I’ve never held anyone like this. I’ve never been held like this, but it feels right. I rut against his ass, careful not to do more than that, and thrust between his thighs, all while I manhandle him, squeeze his pecs, palm every inch of his abs, kiss and lick all down his neck, and everywhere I can reach. I want to rub my cum into his skin next. I want to bite his neck now. I want to bite him everywhere.

Everything feels good, smells good. It’s so intense. With him here, my blunted senses and numb apathy disappear. It’s overwhelming. It’s everything. I’ve never experienced anything like it. Instead of my skin hurting from lack of touch, every caress sends ecstasy shooting through my nervous system.

“I’m getting close,” I say in a rush.