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I stuff his boxers into my mouth and bite them over and over as I fuck my fist for over an hour, my balls aching, my knot still swollen, desperate for a hole to lock into. When that doesn’t work, I fuck myself into his goddamn shoes, totally depraved. I know I’m being disrespectful as hell, fucking with all of Alden’s things, but I don’t care. I can’t right now. I’m going insane.

I whimper. It’s a foreign sound, one I’d never make willingly. But I’m miserable. All lucidity left me a long time ago.

Now even the omega invades my fantasies. I make him beg me to fuck him and knot him, because all of this is his fault. In my next fantasy, I take turns breeding them. None of it works.

I come over and over and over through the night without relief. I’m exhausted. Physically. Emotionally. Mentally. I’m fucking thirsty. But I can’t stop. It feels like I’ll die if I stop. At some point after the sun comes up, I pass out from sheer exhaustion, but it’s so short it’s like I’ve blinked. There’s no reprieve.

My aching need pulls me in and out of sleep until I feel delirious, until time loses all meaning and I can’t figure out if I’m dreaming. Years pass. Eternities.

16 ELLIOTT

Iwake up alone in our nest, head clear, heat gone, no longer a stranger to myself. I stretch one arm overhead. How long was I out?

There’s a note beside my pillow with a plate of strawberries and a chocolate croissant on a tray.

Elliott,

You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn’t want to wake you. I went to check on Tyler. Be back soon.

Oh, and I washed your clothes and placed them on the chair, along with your phone.

Yours,

Alden

Now that my heat is over, I feel claustrophobic. I climb out of bed, then part the curtains, and open the window.

This side of the house faces a small backyard shaded heavily by a large willow tree, branches dancing gently with the breeze. Three chairs form a lazy circle around a small fire pit.

Shame and regret fill me. Alden and Tyler have their own little paradise here, and I trespassed on it. I stole Tyler’s sanctuary from him when he needed it most. Poor Tyler. Listening to him suffer through his rut alone broke my heart.

I brush my teeth, and dress, then start dismantling our nest. Hazy memories of my heat haunt me as I remove the fort-building clips, fold the bed linen, and toss the dirty clothes I wedged between pillows and bedding into the laundry basket.

I nibble my lip and listen for Alden in the quiet house, trying to fight my omega instincts to take something of theirs with me. Fuck it. I reach back into the laundry basket and fish out two pairs of boxer briefs, one for each alpha, then stuff them into my small bag like a burglar.

I look around the room, no less beautiful and inviting than when I first entered, but it feels hollow without the nest, and I feel hollow too.

The door opens, and Alden dips his head in, jaw tight and tension around his eyes.

He steps inside, wearing gray sweatpants and a blue cotton tee. “You took the nest down.”

I nod. “I wanted to help clean up.”

His brow wrinkles. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I’m not a helpless omega anymore, and it’s not like you were going to keep my nest up.”

He pauses. “Well, that was the plan. If you want to spend another heat here, that is.”

“Oh.” Wow. I wasn’t expecting that level of commitment from him.

I would do anything to spend another heat with Alden, but I won’t. There’s no solution that includes me. Tyler is proof of it.

He flashes playful eyes at me. “I guess that means I didn’t pass your test?”

“Please.” I roll my eyes. “You’re class vale-dick-torian. Ten out of ten best heat ever.”

He grins slowly. “Really?”