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Soggy bread: includes over-sauced sandwiches, wet burger buns, syrup-soaked pancakes.

Runny eggs: NO.

My thumb drags down the page. I recognize every item. Every note.

I have said these things to Kain, in these words, probably while he was cooking or while I was complaining about a meal he made.

He wrote them all down.

I turn the page.

Current fixations, tracked by date.

Three weeks ago: Pulse Riot competition prep.

Two weeks ago: Dusk Protocol DLC speculation.

Last week: Farming sim kitchen remodel, specifically eggplants.

Next to each one, a small checkmark in blue ink. Some have additional notes in the margin.

Pulse Riot: used competition structure to enforce hand rest breaks.

Farming sim: used kitchen goal to ensure regular meal timing.

I stare at the checkmarks. He wasn’t helping me. He was managing my stats.

Keeping my health, rest, and hygiene bars in the green so I’d stay functional.

My jaw tightens as I turn another page.

Soothing | Focus | Attention.

Below the heading, a list of songs fills the page. Kain’s compositions and Dead Frequency tracks, each with a star rating and a cold, one-line purpose. An instruction.

Low Tide: ★★★★ Settles overstimulation, migrates toward source.

Downshift: ★★★ Transition cue, reliable for meals/shower/bed.

Starfall: ★★★★★ Immediate attention capture. Works through conversation/crowd noise. Do not overuse.

Save Point: ★★★★ Maintains hyperfocus on tedious work without irritation. Instrumental only. Lyrics interfere with reading.

My breath catches.

I remember last week. Kain picked up his guitar on the couch, played a casual three-note descending riff, and I closed my laptop without even thinking about it. My body did it before my brain caught up.

A cold certainty settles in my gut. He’s been doing this for years.

My thumb finds the next entry, and my stomach drops.

After Dark: ★★★★★ Associates with physical desire. Will seek out contact within ten minutes.

My hand flattens over the paper. I stare at the line until the ink bleeds into a single, damning instruction.

Notes in a manual designed around me.

I think about the last time Kain played that progression three nights ago.