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“I know.”

“No.” I shook my head. “You know what happened to me. That’s not the same thing.”

He flinched.

“You look at my scars and think they prove how much I’ve survived.” I lifted my ruined hand between us. “They prove I get to decide what I can survive next.”

Silence.

I lowered it.

“And you took that from me.”

“Nyssa…”

“You didn’t protect me from the truth, Alaric.” My gaze moved toward the open floor. “You removed my choice to see it.”

His breathing turned ragged. I watched him struggle. Watched the man who could command an entire room of killers stand three feet from me and have absolutely nothing.

I hated that I wanted to cross the distance. Hated that some part of me wanted him to pull me against his chest and make everything simple again. But it’d never been simple. Maybe that was another thing I’d wanted so badly to believe.

“You knew I might find this place.”

“No.”

“But when there was even a possibility…” I looked into the darkness. “You made sure there was nothing left for me to find.”

“It wasn’t about hiding it from you.”

“Then tell me.”

He froze.

There.

Again.

The same fucking door.

“Tell me what was down there.”

His silence answered.

I nodded. Once. That was enough. I walked toward the door.

“Nyssa.”

My hand stopped on the handle. Behind me, his breathing sounded broken. I closed my eyes. One last chance. Even now. God help me. Even now I gave him one.

I turned. “Tell me not yet again.”

His face crumpled. I held his gaze. “Go on.”

He said nothing.

“Tell me someday. Tell me when this is over. Tell me you’re doing this because you love me.” My throat tightened. “Give me another reason to wait for you to decide when I’m allowed to know my own life.”

“That’s not what this is.”