Page 36

Panic seized hold of me. How had I let this happen? I knew the rules. I knew my own limits.

I can help. A voice whispered. I always help.

The demons. Had this happened because of the demons?

I shook my head. No, it couldn’t have been. I didn’t ask for their help. I just saw a threat, and my wand reacted. One body dropped, then the other. Doubt wiggled into my mind. I’d needed their help to get past the protection charm on the sailor. And on the bouncer outside The Drowned Goose.

My limbs felt heavy and weak, but I forced myself to collect my traveling bag and began shoving what I owned inside. Thankfully, there wasn’t much. Three weeks of running made for light packing. A change of clothes. Gran’s tea tin. The crystals I’d used to ward the window. When I went to collect them, I found Della settled on the floor, looking just as depleted as I was.

A knife of pain slid between my ribs. Della wasn’t just my pet. She was my familiar, and our fates were intertwined. She must’ve sent me all her magick to protect me. It’s the only explanation for what I’d been able to do. It hadn’t been the demons. It had been her. This stubborn bird. She’d nearly drowned to fetch a coin, and now this? I was supposed to be the one taking care of her, not the other way around.

I scooped her up and cradled her against my chest. The big raven nuzzled her head under my chin and made a contented noise. Fresh tears welled in my eyes. I wanted to say I was sorry, or that this was all my fault, but I was too afraid that if I opened my mouth I’d start crying. And that wasn’t an option right now.

Yves cleared his throat. I spun around, only to find him crouched over one of the dead witches, holding both of the Devouring medallions. His eyes settled on me, then Della. I knew I didn’t have to say a word. He could see what it had cost us to break the protection charms.

And that was a huge problem. I didn’t want to be known by anyone. Least not him. I couldn’t handle it. I was empty and shaking and sick to my stomach, holding the only family I had left while she breathed shallowly against my chest.

I didn’t want to go to his castle or spend another second in his presence. But without my magick, I needed his help. Which I’d never have said aloud—and he seemed to know that too. He wasn’t going to make me ask for it.

I found that far worse than when he questioned my story about The Devouring. Yves was kind in a way I didn’t recognize, and I felt very unsafe. Yet, at the same time, he drew me to him. It was a lethal combination.

He kept looking at me with such care that I swore he was about to come over, take me in his arms, and tell me nothing would happen to me. Not while I was with him.

Don’t, I thought at him, with the last of my strength. Just don’t.

Yves pocketed the medallions, then stood. I braced for his kindness. But instead, he stepped over the body and plucked his green jacket off the hook.

“Do you mind?” he asked, as if it wasn’t already his.

“Don’t be stupid.”

He gave me a weak grin as he slid his arms into it and fixed the collar. I remembered the way that collar smelled, and how he’d wrapped me in it when I was dripping wet. They were memories I needed to scrub from my mind. Along with a host of others I could do without.

Yves gestured to the open door. “I’ll take care of Widow Martell. When I return, we make our escape.”

He waited for my acknowledgment, then, in a flash, he was gone. In the silence that followed, I looked at the bodies on the floor, and what was left of their heads.

I did that, I told myself. Me. My wand. My hand.

Not the demons.

But doubt returned. Biting the edge of my lip, I worried I’d done something I hadn’t meant to do. I shoved the thought into the dark pit in my belly.

A rush of wind blew my loose hair, and a second later Yves was back in the room. The speed at which he moved was dizzying. He slung my traveling bag over my shoulder, tucked my broom under his arm, then came to stand beside me, holding everything I owned. That one piece of dark hair had fallen in his eyes again.

“I am afraid there’s only one way to leave without drawing more attention, and you aren’t going to like it.” My brows drew together in question. “Hold on tight to Della.”

Before I could respond, he lifted me into his arms, carrying me as if I was a child. I stared up at him and found a soft smile on his face.

“You look like you want to slap me again,” he remarked.

No, I didn’t want to slap him. I wanted to cradle his face between my hands while he spit a shot of liquor into my mouth. Then I wanted him to toss me on that ridiculous bed and break it. I wanted him to make me forget every single thing about tonight.

“Be glad I need to hold Della.”

The Duke held back a grin as he made his way to the open window and climbed onto the sill. A fresh breeze cooled the beads of sweat that had collected in my hairline. As deeply as I resented the need to be held, I had no other choice. I was weak, and so was Della.

“You better not drop me,” I told him.