Page 15

Admitting I was struggling to raise my son was like admitting I was a failure, and in turn, letting Emmaline down. I could never be so frank with a member of my court. But Duval was different from other courtiers, namely because he wasn’t of noble birth.

I frowned at the chessboard, desirous of a distraction. There was nowhere left to move. Nowhere that I could see, at least.

“Have you ever considered,” Duval hedged, moving his queen again, “that you’re fishing in the same waters and wondering why you’re not catching different fish?”

My brows cinched. “What do you mean?”

“Why must blood nannies be drawn from stiff, aristocratic circles?”

“Because they’re supposed to be teaching him how to be a gentleman.”

Duval waved a dismissive hand. “A gentleman? Adrien has the sea in his veins.”

“The sea?” I said. “He has no interest in sailing. As he often reminds me.”

“I mean that he’s wild. Restless. Just like his father.”

A part of me brightened. The part that had forced me to jump from the balcony. The part that had once sailed all the way to Belint and back. Adrien had never seen me as a true Sea Lord. Sure, he’d watched me review financial documents and approve the commissioning of new ships, but he hadn’t seen who I’d been before.

It had only been eight years, but it felt like eight hundred.

Duval continued. “He requires someone who understands how to handle wild men.”

“Who fits that description?” I asked. “And is willing to take the post?”

Before I could stop myself, I was thinking about the woman I’d saved from the harbor. She’d been occupying every thought that wasn’t laden with guilt since I saw her running into the water.

She was everything I’d used to be, and then some. On top of that, Adrien seemed to like her. And… I sat up straighter in my chair. “Duval, are you suggesting I find someone who isn’t noble?”

Duval smirked, and I swore he almost looked proud. “I’m suggesting you stop pretending his behavior is a problem that can be solved with more etiquette, and try another, unorthodox option.”

Appointing a witch as a blood nanny wasn’t just unorthodox. It was unheard of. But still, the idea had promise. Adrien knew the etiquette rules already. I didn’t need someone to teach him how to dance. I needed someone who understood him and encouraged his curiosity instead of provoking his ire.

“Severin would have a fit,” I said, mostly to myself.

Rising from his chair, Duval said, “Last I checked, Lord Severin is not the Duke of Valemer.” He tapped the chessboard with two meaty fingers, making all the pieces jump. “You are.” His attention shifted back to me. “Checkmate.”

I stared at him, feeling like he’d grabbed me by the collar and given me a good shake rather than defeating me in chess.

My nephew, Severin, who’d run my duchy since I’d been mated to Emmaline, had been taking care of my day-to-day duties for decades. When I’d returned home from the capital, he’d offered to step back so that I might take over again, but I’d been too devastated and too busy with my son to take on the role fully. So he continued and did a fine job keeping the peace, ensuring the people were cared for and the port ran smoothly.

I waved half-heartedly at my sanguine partner as he strode from the room. Picking up my fallen queen, I rolled the ivory piece between my fingers. A nanny. From outside the court. What would Emmaline have to say about this?

I imagined my mate’s smile as she sat on the balcony while her lady’s maid threaded gold and green beads into her long black braids. I could almost hear her voice now. “When did you start taking yourself so seriously, Yves? When did you hesitate at the idea of doing something unexpected?”

I clenched the chess piece in my grip. “This is our son. I don’t want to do poorly by him, but I have no clue how to be a father. Not on my own.”

“You’re not alone. You have the sea and your stars. And you have Adrien.”

I exhaled slowly, setting the queen back onto the board. I had trust in my stars and the sea, but not in myself. One night with her, and I’d made a fool of myself. That was to say nothing of the bloodlust. But maybe Maris’s star’s reappearance was a sign of the tide turning. My lost goddess offering a solution in my time of need.

But how could I even find this woman? For all I knew, she was long gone. Excuses. They were just excuses. If I wanted to do right by Adrien, then I needed to trust my decisions. My gaze drifted toward the window, where the sound of the tide carried up from the harbor below. The heat of the day was finally burning off as the sun sank into the bay. The perfect time for a vampire like me to walk the streets of Old Town without being affected by the glare.

I was going to find her. No matter what.

Standing, I made my way to the door when I heard hurried footsteps coming down the hall. After a quick knock, my door was thrown open, revealing my nephew. A tall, slim vampire, with his father’s stick-straight black hair and almond-shaped eyes. He was a gifted sailor in his own right, having grown up in Mistfall.

“I was just on my way out,” I told him. Meeting his cold look with one of confidence. “Whatever business you have for me can wait.”