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My throat goes dry, and I rub my face as Eilish watches me.
“I only put it together last night,” she says. “After you told me you two had sex. All those times his attention stayed on you. I thought it was rivalry. Just him keeping track of a threat.”
“He probably was.”
“No.” Her voice softens. “He was keeping track of you.”
I stand because sitting still has become impossible.
“Fionn already told me the marriage is still happening,” I tell her. “He said it has to.”
“I know.”
“He said there is no us. No me and him.”
I press my fingers to my temples and rub. “I didn’t mean for this to happen. I swear to fuck, Eilish. Fionn’s…Fionn. And my brothers would kill him before they even let me think about being with him.”
“I know.”
“Truth is, I don’t know what I’m doing.” The words rush out as I pace the rug by her bed. “We just have this crazy, messed up, hot chemistry. And last night I went back to his house. Of all the places to end up. Christ, if Ma knew, she’d scalp me. I saw a side to him I really like… And the sex…”
I press a hand to my stomach and blow out a breath.
“But he’s still a Harrington. He’s still dangerous. And he’s still marrying you.”
I look at her, and she looks back, hugging her knees.
“None of that changes how you feel about him. But what I want to know is how you ended up screwing each other.”
My forehead creases, and I sit on the edge of the bed. “I trust him…”
“Say that again,” Eilish says, gobsmacked. “You trust the man who had you kidnapped.”
I shrug. “Yeah.”
“How are you going to deal with it?” she asks.
“With what?”
“With me being his wife, who’s expected to get pregnant by him.”
I drag in a breath and press a hand to my chest because that question is almost choking me. “I don’t know.”
Eilish’s face crumples again. “He’ll be my husband on paper, but having sex with him will be like betraying my best friend.”
I slump onto the bed and cover my face. “What a fucking mess.”
“I don’t want this life anymore, Sera,” she whispers. “I don’t want to be my father’s pawn.”
“Fionn will never be mine,” I say. “But if the wedding goes ahead, he won’t hurt ya. I know that much.”
“That’s not enough.”
“No,” I whisper. “It isn’t.”
“What about you?”
I swallow hard, the reality of it all crushing me from the inside. There’s no easy way around it.