Page 19

Calm myself, I think? How can I calm myself when I have this to deal with? What the fuck is he talking about?

“Look around you,” he says softly. “See what is happening.”

I stare at him. At the sparks flying from my fingertips. My hair, floating around my face. At the others, all backing away from me in fear, or at the very least caution.

“Get away,” I yell at Luca. I don’t know if I can control this, and I can already see the sparks landing on his hands as he reaches out for me, burning with little sizzles as they touch his skin.

“No,” he replies firmly. “I trust you. I know you can do this.”

He grabs hold of my hands, his face contorting in pain as he absorbs the heat, the fire, the buildup of tiny flames. His flesh crackles, and the smell assaults my nostrils—smoke and cooking meat. I’m hurting him, and he’s letting me.

I close my eyes, forcing myself to take a breath, but it isn’t doing any good. I’m starting to panic, and that’s making it all worse. His skin is blackening, charring, but he still won’t let go. He’s speaking, but I can’t hear the words; the terror now has me completely in its grip. My worst nightmare is coming true …

Suddenly, it stops. And I’m soaking wet. I look up, see Donna standing next to me, an empty water bottle in her hand. Matteo comes in from the other side and slams into Luca, physically dragging him away from me. I blink, stare, and shake my wet hair. Fuck.

I want to fly into Luca’s arms. I want to kiss him and hold him and tell him I love him, that I’m sorry, that I never meant to hurt him. But I can’t. I’m still too scared. What if it happens again? What if next time Donatella isn’t around with a quick-thinking solution, or Matteo isn’t here to pull him off me? What if those burns I can still smell on his hands are worse?

It’s okay, bella, he says, directly into my mind. Even there, he sounds weaker than normal. I don’t know exactly how much fire a vampire can withstand before it takes control and ends them. I’m sure Luca is stronger than most, but he’s still damaged. It will heal. I will be fine. All is well.

I can’t even answer; I’m so upset. Minnie is in front of me, dabbing at my damp face with a handkerchief. An actual cloth one, like grannies carry. For all I know, she’s old enough to be a granny. “There, there …” she says as she dabs. “No harm done.”

Everybody seems to want to convince me that everything is fine, that none of this is a problem. They would probably, thinking logically, say anything to keep me calm. Even if I’d fireballed the roof off, they’d be talking in soothing tones, telling me everything is hunky-dory. They don’t want me to get upset again, because being upset—or, as I learned earlier, being in a state of heightened arousal while also totally exhausted and stressed—is what seems to cause these little flare-ups. These episodes. These potentially lethal tantrums.

I nod, biting my lip so hard, it bleeds. I make eye contact with Luca and see nothing but love, nothing but comfort. Yes, his hands are hurt, but I know they will heal within the hour. He will be good as new. I’m just not sure I will be.

How can I be around the man I love when I’m a mortal danger to him?

Chapter 11

Luca

Idon’t want to have to deal with any of this shit. I don’t want to hold meetings, or listen to reports, or sign documents. All I want to do is go find Rosa and put my arms around her. Never let her go.

My hands are sore but healing. The pain of holding on to her when she went full inferno was extreme but nothing compared to the pain of seeing her so distressed afterwards. When Donna had doused her fury, and Matteo tackled me.

Her eyes were wide, her skin pale, her lips trembling. I could practically feel her anguish, her terror. She wouldn’t come near me after that, keeping her distance until we’d finished talking. The whole thing had thrown the conversation off track anyway, and we all went our separate ways, letting Pietro carry on working on the app and do more digging to see if we can locate the Grand Ball Sack. If we do—when we do—I am going to kill him. No overthinking it, no listening to anybody else, no giving ground because he’s her grandfather. Just death. It’s all because of him that she was so upset, all because of him that she’s spiraling. I will end him, hopefully sooner rather than later.

She’d pretended she was fine, plastering on a smile for the room, managing a lame joke about needing to carry an emergency fire extinguisher around with her. It was a good act, and people are used to seeing her strong. Seeing her cope. It’s what she’s always done in a life that has rarely been easy.

I could see beneath the show, though. See the fear she was hiding. As everybody left, and she tried to go with them, I’d grabbed hold of her shoulders, forced her to stand still and look at me. She’d fought, slapping my chest and kicking my shins, but I’d held on despite the burns on my palms. Eventually, she stilled, laid her head against me for a brief moment. I’d kissed her hair, told her I loved her, promised her I was okay. Asked her to stay with me. Fuck knows we both needed the comfort.

“No,” she’d replied, firmly. “Not right now. I know you’re okay. I know you’ll heal. But I’m feeling a bit messed up. I need a bit of alone time, you know?”

“No. I don’t know. I don’t want you to be alone. I don’t think being alone will be good for you.”

She’d sighed, pulled away. Kissed me softly on the lips. “Luca, I love you, but you don’t get to decide what’s good for me, all right? If it makes you feel any better, I’ll stay here a while, at court. I’ll go see how Yvonne is getting on.”

“Who the fuck is Yvonne?”

She’d shrugged. “I don’t really know, but right about now, I suspect she’s in Matteo’s tub, soaking in his bubbles. Look, I’ll see you later. I know Aidan is desperate to talk to you anyway. You have important vamp business to deal with. I’ll be a good girl, honest. Cross my heart and swear to die.”

I’d narrowed my eyes at her. “Now I know you’re lying; you’re never a good girl. But yeah, okay … meet me here in a few hours; we’ll head back to Brooklyn together?”

I’d watched her walk away, a sinking feeling in the heart I never even knew I had until I met her. This woman brought me to life, changed my world, gave me a reason to live. What the fuck am I doing wasting time on this other shit? On discussing Cosca business deals, negotiating contracts, checking finances? I don’t give a single fuck about any of it.

Except … except it’s my duty. My burden. I helped overthrow Vincenzo, and it needed to be done. I can’t just walk off into the sunset with my woman now. I have a responsibility, and despite all the bad that’s tied up with it, the Cosca has been my only family for as long as I can remember. Until recently, and the memory-flash head-fucks that is.

“What do you think, boss?” Aidan asks.