Page 281

It took everything in her to remain neutral, offering only calm support while Brand spoke. Slow and grave, with stilted words, he painted the picture of his own grooming as a lost little boy, pure agony in the bond as he ran shaking fingers over Stirling’s fur.

She’d known some of it but the full scope was almost too much to bear.

Everyone else’s faces said they felt the same.

Fionerys’s tears hadn’t stopped since the first couple sentences. Alwyn’s fury was radiating off of him in waves. His four brothers were dumbfounded, not one of them able to utter a single word as they listened. And Amal had crept closer and closer throughout, hand pressed to her mouth, until Fern finally made room and insisted she sit down as well.

“I’m so sorry,” Brand rasped. “Never mind what Okthana did. I told her Imperial secrets. Shared private, family details. I was betraying you for years without realizing it, and I allowed myself to be used again in Thodelebor to devastating effect. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to make up for that.”

Um, what?! Oh, that better not be why we all came here.

Lunara thought he’d remembered something vital, or…weeping moons, she hardly knew. In a bid to give him space and time, Lunara left him to tell her things when he was ready and assumed that was part of what they were doing here. Never once did she imagine Brand wanted to bleeding apologize to everyone else.

She would’ve fought him every step of the way if she’d known.

Lunara breathed long and deep, shoving back the urge to jump in and shriek her stars-damned head off. Forcing herself to wait and see what his parents and brothers would say, and if they would actually make the mistake of sitting there and accepting that shite from him instead of their own blame.

Of all people, it was Fern who piped up first. “I must be losing my fucking mind. Did you just—” She threw her hands up, face twisted in disgust. “Don’t you dare take responsibility for that cunt. Eugh.”

Thank the Sisters someone else said it, because Lunara was ready to scream.

It broke the spell and Alwyn finally leaned forward, reaching across the small, outdoor sitting area to squeeze Brand’s knee. “She’s right. It’s not your fault, Brand.”

“Of course it isn’t,” Fionerys wailed. “You were a child! I can’t—” She shook her head, clearly at a loss.

Closer, but not quite good enough.

Lunara was sucking the air in to let loose when Brand’s anger rose up, burning in her own veins.

“I know that.” His voice was low, but it shook with righteous emotion. “I’m not taking responsibility for anything other than what I did within those situations. You needed to know the things Okthana is and has been aware of for quite a while.” He stood, placing Stirling on his shoulder. “It would be wise for you to evaluate any of the palace guard that has been here since that time, as well as shoring up neglected defenses. There’s no telling what else she’s done or who she’s gotten to, since I was never made aware of the rest of her plans.”

Brand reached down for her, waiting.

Oh, no bleeding way you’re leaving here like that.

Only if it was what he actually wanted.

Lunara misted in front of him, hand on his jaw forcing him to look down at her. The hurt and rage searing between them was reflected in his welling, hazel stare, and she finally saw the truth—he was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to say it.

“Are those your own feelings or mine?” she asked, to be sure they weren’t accidentally feeding off of one another. “If they’re yours, is that because it will make you feel better, or them?”

“Mine,” he answered roughly, “and I can’t decide.”

“Can’t decide”—her fingers tightened, thumb raking across his cheekbone—“or still think you aren’t worth it? Still convinced of her lies, caught in her web, diminishing yourself to please and comfort others? Still afraid she was right?”

The silence surrounding them was all the more deafening for his shaky gasp. “You know me too well, little moon. Sometimes, I’m not sure whether or not I hate it.”

“Tell me about it, Demon,” Lunara huffed, fully confident that there wasn’t a single drop of hatred in his body reserved for her. “You toppled every wall I had and laid me bare, and it terrified me. It’s uncomfortable enough to be seen. To then be forced to change for our own good…” A deep breath and cleansing sigh. “Worse, honestly, but I swear to you—she was wrong, and you will be better for it.”

“I’ve been excusing them,” he whispered, pressing into her hold, “seeing only their good amongst my own faults.”

She felt his family leaning in, hanging on every word and having no idea what was about to come. What was building in Brand by the second.

“That’s only half the picture, though, isn’t it?”

Lunara was only saying out loud what he was actively realizing himself and releasing into the bond, trying to aid him in climbing that final hill and facing the rest of it. Trying to help him heal.

At his single nod, she continued. “You don’t have to do it alone, so don’t. Why should you have to endure all the discomfort? Why should you always have to carry it by yourself, when they are more than capable of shouldering their part of the burden? The truth is the truth, even if it fucking hurts. I promise, Brand—if they are worth it, they will love you just the same. Just as I do.”