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Araxis sidled up as she was about to flood the pane. “Lunara, you must—”
“I must nothing, except get to Brand,” she hissed. “Do you have any idea what this is like? Any inkling of of the pain? Please. I will happily suffer my place in the Occurrence, just let me see him.”
One eye twitching, he glanced over his shoulder, then grabbed her by the arm and dragged her behind the velvet drapes.
“Everyone who steps foot in the Elder Halls within a day of the Occurrence is stuck until it’s over,” he said, voice barely a whisper. “Those people you so rudely dismissed during one of the great honors of their life are just as trapped as you. You have to get over it and get it done. Get over yourself. I’m sorry this is the way it has to be, I’m sorry there are spells older than the fucking Plateau on this heap of crystal, I’m sorry you heard my brother before you were supposed to know he was here, and I’m sorry you think I’m such a wretched bastard, but it is what it is. Find some of the grace I know you possess and stop assuming you are singular in your dislike of the things going on around you. They are not your enemy.”
Her breaths sawed like knives. “They’re members of the Elder Tier. How could they not—”
“You are a fucking member of the Elder Tier. You are one of them. Follow all of the advice I gave you, and perhaps you might see them towards a more promising future—as soon as you pull your head out of your arse and help us.”
There was a wildness in his pleading, crystalline eyes she’d be a fool to ignore.
“How long until I can leave?”
“The second the moons are no longer aligned and the Occurrence is done.”
“How long until that happens?”
“A couple hours, give or take. I wasn’t kidding when I said we don’t have the fucking time. There are rituals and customs some of these people wait their entire lives to be selected for, and they will be dreamily recollecting to their grandchildren centuries from now that they were bestowed the honor of bathing the great Moonweaver. Please. If you’re to lead them, start by being fucking kind.”
That hit like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind from her. It wasn’t so long ago that she stood in a ravaged Thodeleborian village after burying countless dead, Brand looking down at her and wondering aloud whether there were any bounds to her kindness.
“I hope not,” she’d said. “What good is kindness if it has a limit?”
Damn it. Shite.
“I’m…”
Terrified. Confused. Pissed. Eager to get away from this realm and all it had done to her. Desperate to get to Brand. To see the fierce and adoring look in his hazel eyes that she knew would be there now.
“I know, Lunara.” He gave her arm a squeeze. “I truly am sorry. Just do as I say, however ridiculous it sounds, and it will all be fine. Trust me. Please.”
Her entire body was trembling, too much power mixed with too much emotion, and all she wanted was to curl up and pretend none of it existed. But that wasn’t an option because Lunara vowed to never be a coward again.
“Alright. Alright.”
Stars and arses, what was she doing? Giving in felt so wrong, and yet…
If Araxis spoke true, and if the Elders waiting across the chambers were as innocent as he said, then they deserved her respect. They deserved for her to listen. She’d sworn to change the Evesong as soon as she was done with all the other shite. Perhaps this was the start of it, and she needed to get over the fact it was happening sooner than she planned on.
Which meant ignoring the overwhelming desire to sprint towards Brand and fuck everything else.
Araxis led her back to the washroom, where the attendants were waiting in the exact spots she left them, hands dutifully folded and heads down. She had no choice but to rearrange herself. To muster the strength she’d found over the last couple of months. To be better than she was ready for.
Sisters save her.
Every minute of Lunara’s upbringing reared its ugly head, the manners and poise draping back over her like an old cloak. Her parents’ lessons and chiding, their expectations. They were never unreasonable, but they’d been preparing her for a world that wasn’t natural to her mind or body. A place that didn’t function in any way that made good sense to her. That was never comfortable when she was simply…herself.
The mask slipped into place, and Lunara dipped her chin. “My apologies,” she said. “Forgive my outburst. It was unconscionably rude. I’m rather nervous, but it’s no excuse for poor behavior.”
All of them bowed at the waist in unison, murmuring, “Blessed Keeper.”
“Please. I am Lunara. Just…Lunara.” If only that were true.
Their eyes darted to one another in the silence, the most they’d broken their rigid demeanors since fetching her.
“Right.” Their nerves were likely as mangled as her own, the whole thing so ridiculous that she was somehow seconds away from laughing.