Page 169

He called a plain chair up from the stone and plopped down, keeping one eye on Okthana. She stood still for a moment, staring, then eased down beside it.

“So, what upset you, dear one?”

Brand told her about the afternoon’s events. “I thought if I found another flower, it would fix everything. Amun was so mad. He’s never yelled at me before and I…” He sniffed, wiping the back of his hand under his nose. “It’s important to my mum. A peace offering to her people. I don’t really know what that means, but I don’t want her to be sad because of me.”

“Oh, you sweet boy.” She grabbed his hand, her taloned nails terrifying, even as she stroked a gentle thumb over his knuckles. “It’s perfectly understandable that you don’t know. I’m so sorry they burdened you with adult matters when fun is exactly what you should be having at your age.” She sighed. “It’s so difficult when others treat us differently for who we are, isn’t it? As if you can help being young! You poor thing.”

He perked up at that. “Amun and Vann are always playing pranks, and I wanted to join in for once. That’s all I was trying to do.”

Okthana gaped at him. “They exclude you from their games and then yell when you try to play? And you said he pushed you, made you look at the mess…” She pressed her hand to her mouth, shaking her head. “Forgive me, but that sounds awful. Cruel, even.”

That was maybe a touch too far. “Well, I don’t⁠—”

She gave his hand a squeeze. “I know it might sound dramatic, but I’ve honestly never heard such a thing. Where I’m from, we would never treat children that way. You must be careful, Your Highness.”

Okthana sounded genuinely distressed, and it brought that tight feeling back to his chest again. “Careful? Of what?”

“Oh, my heart. You’re so used to it that you don’t even know to be guarded?” Her brows pinched together, pity in her pale eyes. “Your brother’s reaction was extreme. Too extreme. I can’t believe I’m saying it about our blessed Imperial Heir Apparent, but…well…I wouldn’t be surprised if your brother didn’t actually find a real desert flower and used you to cover up his deceit.”

Brand shrank back, shocked by the suggestion. “Amun would never lie or do that to me. To any of us!”

“Is it too forward for me to say that, as of this morning, you also thought he would never yell at you?”

That was…true.

“You must be wary, Your Highness.” Fat tears gathered on her dark lashes. “I’m afraid that he might be taking advantage of your good nature and is finding ways to manipulate you. That he said you’re bad, and made sure you were focused on feeling guilty, so you didn’t look too closely. Which means he feels threatened by you, and that’s dangerous.”

Okthana pulled in a shuddering breath. “I know all too well that the ones we love most in the world can turn on us in an instant. Creatures you never thought would do such a thing. Please”—her hand clutched his even tighter—“promise me you’ll be cautious, Brandir. I’m scared for you.”

Brand didn’t know what to make of the things she said. He was so tired, and hurt, and nothing made sense anymore. He couldn’t think. Couldn’t breathe.

“I’d like to go home now,” he rasped, trying to keep a brave face.

“Oh, you must be exhausted. I, myself, am quite weary, and I haven’t had nearly the day you have.” Okthana stood, her movements less easy than before. Pained, even, when she helped him up. “Would you like me to take you, or would you prefer to sneak back in yourself?”

Brand couldn’t say why, but he had a feeling it wasn’t right for her to deliver him to his bedroom if no one else knew she was there—friend or no. “What if you took me to the base of the mesa? I can find my way up after that.”

“Deal.” The crows gathered closer, wisps of shadow swirling from their feathers as they morphed together. “If you need to get away, you can come here to your little spot. And if we’re ever here at the same time, we can have a chat and I promise to listen. Would you like that?”

“Yes. Thank you, Okthana, for everything.”

Lost to sleep and memory, Brand watched his life unfold. Including entire parts he…didn’t remember living.

Through Argoph and the Weeping City, in the forests and rivers surrounding it, he saw himself grow from babe to gangly adolescent, following a mere step behind.

All the while, Brand’s stomach turned as he witnessed his own quiet erosion.

From that very first meeting after his fall, Okthana crept into his life, his psyche, through sweet words and heartbroken cries, with the Montriver at night as the backdrop. Somehow, she was always nearby. She was always so very pleased to see him. A comforting touch here, a worried sigh there. A shake of her head, a perfectly timed wash of tears. She knew just what to say. Exactly what to do.

It chipped and scraped and gnawed, sapping away his youthful exuberance, his confidence, until he was a shell of himself. Until he was living episode to episode, no idea what was happening to him or why. Until his powers grew erratic and his family looked at him with distress and pity in their eyes, trying to figure out where they’d gone wrong.

A family Brand hadn’t fully trusted or felt safe with because she made sure he was isolated.

Everyone was out to get him. Everyone was scheming. Everyone was jealous.

Except for her.

Everybody was going to leave him, abandon him, forget him.