Page 125

“Then let me answer for you, and trust me as you always have.” Lyriat pulled him into a crushing, suffocating embrace. “You did not do this. It is not your fault. You are as much a victim in this as they are.”

Brand was stiff, longing to walk through the doors he was staring at. “I cannot be a victim as they are,” he said, voice deadened, “when I have no memory of my own pain while they continue to suffer.”

Lyriat let go, a muscle ticking in his jaw. “I understand that better than you think.”

“Oh?” Pounding started at the base of Brand’s skull, his lips peeling back against the pain. “You visited your brother in his realm to have a chat about cloth supply and his shite prices, and then woke up missing months of your life? You’ve tried to fucking murder your blessed, bonded mate? Your family?”

Brand hated the strange look Lyriat gave him in response, all the more infuriating for its compassion.

“Until you’ve got a leech sucking away at your mind and soul, using your body against your will, you understand nothing, Lyriat.” Brand pushed past him, intent on finally leaving. “No one does.”

“She understands,” Lyriat shouted after him, stopping Brand in his tracks again. “If you trust nothing else, trust that.”

She. Lunara.

Sisters damn his fucking feet and the roots they planted into the ground. The inability to move. The part of him that wanted to hear what his friend might say about her.

Lyriat must’ve realized it, the bastard, because he continued. “Your mind and soul are as much hers as they are yours, and the person you became in that missing time was someone who knew it. Who saw their equal and fought horn and fist for the honor of exchanging the better half of himself, that you might have hers in return. A more hard-won battle has never been fought, your mate a most singular person in her determination, but…”

He sighed, slow and heavy. “No matter what happens, what you do, or how fiercely you deny it, you will never be alone again, Brand. You cannot be alone, and you are all the more blessed for it. Don’t make the egregious mistake of throwing that privilege away because you insist on being just as bloody stubborn as she is.”

The sound of Lyriat’s boots drilling into the flagstones faded, but his words stayed. Brand had no idea how long he stood there, staring into the middle space, searching for something he didn’t know how to name.

The thought of someone finding him in this state—lost, heartbroken, so full of shame that every ragged breath was torture—finally snapped him out of it. It was everything he could do not to rip the clothes from his body as he walked. Not to scream to the rafters and punch the stone walls.

Except, each step closer to his chamber was a drain on his tension, the forward motion a relief. He relaxed in increments, shoulders melting, a pleasant buzz tingling over his skin.

Brand rounded a corner and slowed. This particular hall was one of his favorites, though he couldn’t say exactly why. Something about it called out to him. He let its peace wash over him to clear the rest of his pent up shite.

Floor to ceiling windows on one side mimicked those in the Great Hall and looked out onto a lush garden of trees and vines. Solyrian always graced it so beautifully, the benches warm and inviting. Strange. He didn’t recall ever sitting in there and enjoying it. Perhaps he should⁠—

Raised voices echoed down the corridor from one of the nearby rooms, snagging his attention. Heated. Sometimes shrill.

Moving closer, he got there just in time to hear Fern say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I almost forgot that divine cosmic deities don’t need to eat.”

“That’s not what I’m saying and—for the love of the Sisters—stop calling me that!” Lunara, her lilting husk clearly irritated.

“You mean, for the love of yourself?”

“Ugh!”

Hedda was in there too, apparently, her chuckles underscoring the back and forth.

“He’s not going to whip out the shadow fuckery just because you shoved a bite in your mouth on the way out the door.”

“I can eat after I see him. He might even let me eat with him, but I won’t know unless I try, now will I?”

“There won’t be anything to eat if we go up there to do it because fucking Magnus is going to steal all the food before we even have a chance to sit down!”

“You’re one to talk! You shove back as much as he does!”

“At least I eat!”

“I ate in Argoph!”

“Four fucking days ago!”

“No! Kala slipped me a pastry on the way out this afternoon.”