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I linger, hidden in the shadows, heart hammering, pulse thrumming. She’s alive, beautiful, untouchable in her daze, and I want – need – to see everything, remember everything, imprint it all again like I did the first time.

The thought hits me: I can’t let her slip away again.

She’s mine.

I vanish further into the smoke, just another shadow in the maze, letting her think she’s safe, letting her friends pull her away, but my eyes never leave her.

I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.

I’m not letting her get away again.

7

ASH

Five Years Ago

The cool wind nips at my skin as I lean against the tree. I didn’t ask for my hoodie back; I want it to be hers now. A reminder of me.

My lips throb, and the taste of her is still on my tongue, warm and sweet. It’s a taste I’ll never forget. Her lips, soft and sweet with curiosity, cling to my memory like the smoke to my lungs. I can still feel the heat of her mouth, her startled quick inhale, the way her pulse pounded against mine. Every detail of the kiss I’ve stored, replayed a dozen times, and already crave again. I run my tongue over the memory of her on my lips, tasting the faint trace of her perfume and the tang of the night air, the sugary-salty sweetness of her skin. It’s intoxicating. Addictive. Dangerous.

When I close my eyes, she’s there: that taste, that heat, that spark I’ve never felt before. It’s not just her lips; it’s her, all of her, condensed into something that’s mine alone to remember, mine alone to chase.

I watch Bryn walk into her bedroom, a blissful smile on her face. She twirls in front of the mirror, running her hands down my hoodie, before resting her fingertips on her lips. I smile, feeling exactly what she does. The soft lamplight catches her hair as it falls around her shoulders, framing her face like a halo. Every movement is effortless, fluid, innocent, and yet pierces me straight through. She doesn’t know I’m watching, and that gives me a different kind of thrill.

I memorise everything: the curve of her smile, the way her chest rises and falls with each gentle breath, the tiny sway of her hips as she twirls again. She radiates life, and I’m tethered to it, helpless and greedy all at once.

Her laughter drifts softly through the room when she catches her reflection in the mirror, her eyes sparkling with delight. I close my eyes for a moment, remembering again, feeling the heat of her presence like a live wire pressed to my skin. Every fibre of me aches to reach out to touch her, to be closer, but I can’t. I don’t want to rush things. I can’t screw this up.

Girls like her don’t ever notice boys like me, but somehow, she has.

The light goes out, and I slide to the ground, draping my arms over my knees. I rest my head against the side of the tree. Talking and laughter echo from the back of the house onto the street. It’s obvious everyone has been drinking. After an hour or so, Ubers are called, and the guests leave couple by couple. The house is blanketed in darkness, and suddenly it’s still. The night air prickles my skin. I glance down at the time. It’s almost 2 a.m. Exhaling and rubbing my tired eyes, I keep watching. My insides clench uncomfortably when a dim light – from a phone, perhaps – lights up the hallway.

The figure is somewhat short and broad – the stepfather. Pushing to my feet, I glance around before darting quickly across the road. I slink against the fence, peering up, following his shadow as it moves across the hall. My breath clogs my throat as he passes Bryn’s room before stopping at another. He steps inside the room. I squint at the dim light, trying to see what’s on the walls. It’s definitely a girl’s room. Her sister’s.

Feeling nauseous, I shake my head, wanting to tear inside the house and feel his blood coat my knuckles, but I don’t. I inhale and inhale until it hurts. I stand, tightening my hands into fists before reluctantly leaving.

I need a plan.

I walk unhurriedly through the street. My eyes roam over every house, each dark window. None of them hold any interest. Only hers.

The street I live in is a lot livelier than those in the village. Loud music thumps from backyards, laughter booms, TVs blast at volumes way too high. I kick open my gate, hanging on its final hinges. With a groan, it tilts and tears from one of the hooks. A step creaks under my weight as I mount the porch stairs and slip through the front door. The TV is rumbling and my father is sprawled across the lounge, snoring, as usual. An empty bottle of bourbon lies on the floor beside him.

The house feels stale, as if it hasn’t breathed fresh air in months. There’s a suffocating stench of marijuana in the air. My stomach grumbles loudly and I move to the kitchen. Mouldy bread sits on the counter, sweating in the humid air. Opening the fridge, I scan the empty shelves and sigh, closing the door.

‘Hey there.’

I startle, spinning on my heels to see a dark-haired girl dressed in a skimpy singlet and see-through lace panties. She smirks, her eyes travelling all over me.

‘Kaine didn’t tell me he had a cute brother.’ She bites her lip. Her hair is messy, trailing down her shoulders and resting just above her pebbled nipples, which are visible through the thin material of her singlet.

‘He’s sixteen,’ a voice snaps behind me. My brother appears, scowling, dressed in only a pair of black sweats. ‘And knows better than to touch what’s mine. Don’t you, Ash?’

I give him a sarcastic thumbs up in response. His eyes turn to me, narrowing into slits and flashing darkly with warning. I give him a surly look back before brushing past them and disappearing down the hall. A dark rage fills my veins, but I manage to hold it together while I shower, brush my teeth, and throw a pair of shorts on.

Collapsing onto my bed, I stare up at the ceiling, unable to get my mind off Bryn and her family. I fist my hands, digging my nails into my palms, before forcing my fingers to unfurl and flatten against the mattress.

Light footsteps walk down the hall and stop at my door before it opens. The girl I met earlier enters with a coy smile, slipping inside my room and closing the door. Exhaling, I turn to stare up at the ceiling, knowing my brother will come looking for her and all hell will break loose.