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Jinx’s fur shifts around me. A summoning.
“A summoning?” I keep one hand pressed against my sternum, the other reaching through the floating, silky fur like I’ll encounter a hand.
If it’s anything like my own experiences, it’s a mortal soul within the physical world that calls to you. Sometimes it is purposeful, like what your men did earlier with their painted sigils on the mirror. Others are a subconscious cry for help within the night.
My heart pounds against my hand, like it is trying to burst forth to go towards that aching tug. I reach out, my legs moving in hopes of swimming. Jinx shifts from her wrapped embrace of me and two halves of her part for my hand to slip free.
My fingers press against something cool and solid before my palm flattens out against it. My heart thuds desperately, and I place my other hand against it as well. Like when I was searching for Lucas, the space before me shimmers and ripples as a smooth lake’s surface.
The call becomes louder, and my soul recognizes it, my voice cracking when I cry, “Valen.”
The image distorts to reveal the weaver that broke my heart. My breath catches, and I press my palms harder. His hair is a mess, and there are dark circles under his too-wide eyes. He’s ashen and his spine curls in a slump I’ve never seen on him before. He’s missing a shirt and bruises cover his body. Why hasn’t he healed himself? What has happened?
My heart clenches, and I cry again, “Valen!”
He sucks in breath, his head lifting and our gazes meet. He searches me before he covers one of my hands with his. His surroundings sharpen. He’s in his bathroom, but instead of the large full-length mirror I gazed through before, I’m in the mirror above his vanity. There is luggage everywhere, open and partially packed. A fresh shirt sits beside him. Is the Bauer estate compromised?
His voice echoes, small and desperate. “How are you here?”
“I felt you. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
I search his surroundings, but he’s alone. I nearly scream in frustration. Valen. Usually so put together, so calm. My pillar of strength is a wreck, and the change in him sends me into a near rage. I am so tired of being trapped away from the men I love. I want to fall through this mirror and wrap my arms around him. I want to stroke his hair while he leans against my chest. I want to tangle my legs with his until our feet touch.
My fingers curl against the glass, my head tilting down. My voice warps, and Jinx shifts when I slowly say, “Who hurt you?”
His eyes shift. A shimmer of deep feeling softens him, but there’s a tension within him still. He huffs, shaking his head before partially turning. “Your beastly little grimoires.”
I gasp, flinching back, my hand leaving the mirror to cover my mouth. His shoulder is partially destroyed. Magic glimmers over the raw, open wound that is slowly reforming tissue over his exposed bone. The pain he must be in…
“Valen. You need a healer.” My lip trembles and I press against the mirror. I need to get through. I need to help him.
His lips twitch, and some of the hollowness in his face lessens with a spark of amusement in his bloodshot, blue eyes. But then it’s gone, his expression falling as his eyes shine. My heart nearly stops. “What’s happened? Is Lucas okay?”
He doesn’t answer, but stares into my eyes in a broken, lost way. His softly whispered words echo as time stops when he says, “I’ve put my father to rest.”
My breath catches, and he doesn’t look away as he continues, “I saw the blood in your shop. Saw the violence of his death. I don’t understand how you could witness such a thing and not immediately summon me. You could’ve warned me in case I was in danger, but you didn’t.”
My chest heaves, and my eyes squeeze shut when his voice cracks. “I am so utterly ruined by you, my love.”
Tears burn down me. I curl in against the glass, my forehead pressing against it. The mirror threatens to fade away, but I slap my palms against it, forcing it back to a solid state. I will not run from him, not this time. I will keep the connection even as his words slice a thousand cuts into me. For Valen, I will endure this agony just to hear his voice.
Valen’s mask is gone. The broken exhaustion weighs heavily on him, aging him in a way that nearly sends me to my knees. He speaks softly, his gaze far off like he’s reliving each word. “I loved you. I loved you with my whole soul. I grieved your loss from my life so deeply that I couldn’t get out of bed for months. I barely ate. I barely slept. And when I finally started to come alive again, I discovered the curse and the bottomless depth of your vengeance. You would have consumed each member of the Order one by one until we were all gone. It took so long for me to accept that you would so mindlessly doom even me to such a fate. I was so certain that you’d keep it to only your father and brother, but to also curse my family? My mother? My sister?”
His hand trembles as he covers his eyes with it. “Did you ever love me?”
I can’t catch my breath, my shoulders heaving where they press against the glass.
Valen’s voice becomes softer and softer, but is still easy to hear over the pounding of my heart. “I let myself be blind for so long. I joined Viola in hiding what you’d done, worked endlessly to try to keep my father from turning on you.”
A choked breath has my head snapping up, eyes wide. Tears stain Valen’s face, and it utterly ruins me. I claw at the glass.
Valen. My Valen.
I did this to him. I broke him. It was so much easier to distance myself from him when I was angry, but now I could fade away just to make his pain stop.
His whole body is shaking as if he’s in a winter storm. I stroke my fingers back and forth, wishing for his hand over mine. Anything to lessen his misery. His gaze leaves mine and his face crumples. “I wish I’d known how much more I loved you than you loved me. Maybe then I would’ve made better decisions, but I can’t find myself regretting it because even after all the selfish, evil things you’ve done, I am still so utterly, completely, consumed by you. I don’t think I would’ve made it through the last seven years if I hadn’t tried to save you. My love. My soul. I just wish I wasn’t so alone in this feeling.”
Something within me breaks, and the black seam running down my form tugs as if I’m being pulled apart. “I’m so sorry, Valen.”