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“Of course you were.”

He looks miserable, and I almost feel sorry for him, but I’m too angry. He went behind my back, and the betrayal is a punch to the stomach. I thought I could trust Axel. I opened up to him, I was vulnerable with him, but how can I be with someone who keeps things from me?

I grab my laptop off the table and stuff it into my bag.

“It’s not about getting someone back, Axel. My mom taught me to rise above pettiness, and you’ve pulled me right down into it. This is not something my mom would be proud of.”

I stride down the hallway to the bedroom, and Axel follows.

“I’d do it again, Ruby. I’m not sorry I’ve humiliated the man who hurt you, but I am sorry I didn’t tell you about it.”

I throw open my suitcase and stuff my laptop bag inside. My pajamas are under the pillow, and I grab them and throw them in the case along with my paperback from the bedside table.

“And that’s the point, Axel. This isn’t about payback; this is about rising above small people.”

“Those guys deserve everything they get. I have files on Bastion and the podcaster. I won’t do a thing with them until you say so.”

I grab my toothbrush from the bathroom and my face cream, and they go in my suitcase too.

“I don’t want revenge, Axel, I want respect. I need to be with someone who understands that. I appreciate you’ve accepted my body the way it is, but I need to be with someone who has the same values as me.”

“Don’t go, Ruby.” His expression is agony as I zip up my suitcase. “You’re angry with me. Take another room for a few days, but don’t leave.”

His face is drawn, and I hate the hurt in his expression. I grab my floppy hat from the nightstand and put it on, as well as the sunglasses.

“Please…” He takes me by the shoulders and scans my face as if remembering my features.

“You told me I could leave anytime. Now is that time.” I stare back blankly, willing myself not to crumble under his gaze.

After a beat, he releases my shoulders and steps aside.

“Of course you can leave anytime.” His voice is quiet, resigned. I’ve never heard Axel quiet like that, and I nearly turn back.

Know your own self-worth, Ruby. Don’t let anyone diminish you.

With Mom’s words in my head, I wheel my suitcase out of the room and out of Axel’s lodge.

15

AXEL

The wheels of Ruby’s suitcase clack over the hallway floor, growing fainter as she moves down the hall. The front door opens, then closes, and the lodge settles into silence. I sink onto the bed and drop my head into my hands.

How could I have gotten it so wrong again? This is how it played out when I went after the asshole who almost destroyed my sister. I should have learned my lesson then. But when Ruby turned up broken, I wanted to fix her. And destroying the man who took her light made sense to me.

I rub a hand down my jaw, and it catches on stubble.

It made sense to me, a man trained by the military, where action and payback are normal. I didn’t even consider that it might not be what Ruby wanted. I acted to protect the woman I love, because yeah, I love that woman.

All of her soft curves and quiet strength. She would have done it another way, and I should have consulted her. I was so caught up in trying to help; I didn’t realize I was fucking up the best thing that’s happened to me.

And now she’s walking out of my lodge, out of my resort, and out of my life.

I head to the basement to watch her leave, but pause on the top step. I could watch the only woman I’ve ever loved walk away from me, or I could run after her and beg her to give me another chance. I didn’t tell her how I feel, and I didn’t tell her why I did what I did. It might not make a difference, but I have to try. If she still wants to leave, then that’s her choice, but she’ll leave with all the information.

I race to the front door and pull it open, not even stopping to slip on my shoes. I run down the path to the gate. My fingers don’t move fast enough on the code, and I push the wrong button twice.

“Fuck.” I bellow out a string of curses, trying to get out of my own fortress. The gate finally swings open, and a couple stare at me, bemused expressions on their faces. I give them a curt “Good evening,” as I take off at a run.