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“You don’t have to babysit me,” she says quietly, not looking at me.
I don’t answer right away. But, eventually, I say, “I’m not.”
And I mean it. I’m not here out of obligation or duty, though I know she’ll spend the rest of the night convinced that I am.
I’m here because I love her. It really is that simple. It’s also the most complicated thing in my life. Both of those things are true, and I stopped trying to untangle them a long time ago.
I sink deeper into the armchair and scrub a hand down my face. I’m exhausted. Guilt gnaws at me for being frustrated.
My phone buzzes on the table. I grab it and see a text from Whitley.
Whitley:
Don’t forget to eat. And get some rest. Also, I miss you. But I’ll say that cooler in person.
God, she’s too good.
Me:
Miss you, too. See you tomorrow.
If I don’t screw that up, too.
My mom glances over and narrows her eyes. “You’ve been staring at that phone an awful lot. Who is it?”
“Just someone I’ve been seeing.”
“Seeing?” Her face brightens just a bit. “As in a girlfriend?”
“I guess you could call her that.”
There’s a beat of silence. Then she laughs. “You?”
I clench my jaw. Here we go.
She shakes her head. “They’re always different at the beginning. Wait until she realizes you come from a broken family.”
Her voice has a bite to it, but I’ve learned that sometimes this is how she protects herself. She pushes before she can be pushed.
“I’m just looking out for you,” she says. “That’s all.”
And just like that, she’s smiling like she means it. Like she didn’t just cut me with her words ten seconds ago.
“If you’re good now, I think I’ll head out. Got an early day tomorrow.”
Her smile falters. “You’re always running off lately.”
“I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy for your own mother?”
I exhale slowly through my nose. “You said you were feeling better. I figured…”
Her eyes well up. “I just… I hate being alone in this place, Beau. Can’t you stay a little longer?”
I want to leave. I want to see Whitley. I want normal. Easy. Safe. But I also know what it’s like when she spins out and I’m not here.
So I force a smile. “Yeah, okay. A little longer.”