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“I hope that one day, you’ll let me tell you about it,” he continues. “I realize today is not that day, but I can promise you, I’ll do everything I can to earn your forgiveness. And hers. Especially hers.”

I grunt in reply. “We’ll see.”

“I was a coward,” Vae blurts, like he’s been holding the words in and can’t hold them in any longer. “I knew what was happening was wrong, and I should have pushed harder. Shouldn’t have let outside influences determine my actions.”

I almost laugh, but it’s really not funny.

Outside influences. He means Daxen. Of course he does.

“Regardless, I made my own decision,” he continues, bringing his palm to his sternum absently and pressing against his chest. The movement looks familiar, and maybe if I weren’t so fucking tired I would have put it together sooner.

It’s the same way I used to press against my chest when I was feeling the ache of my Bond with Idril, even though I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time.

Fates, it’s right there… right in front of him. Both of them. And they can’t even see it.

Unbelievable.

Vae keeps speaking, oblivious as usual.

“It’s no one’s fault but my own. I haven’t wanted to bother either of you since you woke up, but that’s cowardly, too. I regret every single time I didn’t open my mouth, and every single time I did.” His throat works as he swallows. Leaning forward, he braces his elbows on his knees and looks up at me with pleading, emotional eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

I can hear the sincerity in his voice. Can see it in his eyes. Part of me even believes it. I know Vae. I know the kind of male he is. Which is why I know what he’s saying is probably the complete truth. And also probably incredibly hard for him to admit out loud in front of everyone.

I know all those things; I just… don’t care.

“I am as well,” Gav jumps in, almost making me snarl at the sound of his voice. “I did what I thought was right at the time, but I made a bad call.”

Soren snarls, eyes flashing bright green. He turns a menacing glare on Gav, and I let him, not bothering to do jack shit to talk him down.

Something I never would have let happen a month ago.

Gav crosses his arms and leans back. “Snarl all you want, pup, but it’s true. I fucked up. Made a bad call. Made a series of spectacularly bad calls. I don’t always get it right, and I never claimed to. This is one of those times. Truth be told, I was a bit overwhelmed. With all the shit happening with the Omegas, two of my best warriors in Chicago, the fucking mysteries, and no answers,” he hesitates, clearly wondering how much to tell an outsider. “When Caelan showed up barely clinging to life, I delegated and didn’t bother to pay much attention. I tried to set ground rules but…” he trails off, shaking his head. Perhaps he’s realizing no excuse exists to explain away his fuck up.

“I, too, owe Idril an apology. I know that. I can’t change the past, but I promise to do better.”

For a long while, I sit with their words, turning them over in my head. I wish I could say they make me feel better, but the truth is, they fucking don’t.

The worst part is that Idril’s not here for any of it. She’s the one who should hear all this. She’s the one who deserves it. Deserves the apologies. Instead, she’s somewhere I can’t even reach her, alone except for another Omega.

Eventually I decide just to say what I’m thinking. No part of me feels like I owe them anything, and pretending otherwise won’t make any of this better.

“To be honest with you all, I don’t give a shit about what any of you have to say. You broke my trust. You nearly broke my Mate. There’s so much shit you don’t know, and…” I shake my head furiously, biting back my words, not daring to even hint that Vae and Dax are Idril’s Mates.

It’s her decision when to tell them, and she’ll do it when she’s ready.

“It doesn’t fucking matter,” I sigh, waving the thought away. “There’s only one thing that matters right now. Idril.”

The words hang in the air around us like something physical. I can feel the truth of them in my soul, down to the marrow of my bones.

Gavran’s eyes lock on mine, and I can see the worry staring back at me, along with the guilt. It’s fucked up, but it makes me relieved to see it. If he’s not even feeling guilty, then he’s not the male I thought he was. He wouldn’t be fit to lead the Bloodbound, that’s for sure.

His expression hardens. “We should start with the only person we know who has more information that could help us, then.”

Albertson.

I nod my agreement, attention darting toward the doors like I can see through them and down the halls and stairs, all the way to the cells in the basement.