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Grabbing another jug and two stoneware bowls, she sets them on the table we used last night.
“We don’t understand that Bond,” I tell her. “No one does. I have two Bonds with both Soren and Caelan, but Vae and Dax think I’m only Scent-Matched to Soren. And considering no one knows what the heck this other Bond is…” I trail off as she fills up the bowls with water. I really hope she isn’t expecting me to try and heat them again.
“Makes sense,” she says, nodding as she recorks the jug. “If they knew about the Scent-Match with Caelan, they’d assume—correctly—that you’re their Scent-Match as well. Considering there’s fuck all information about the mystery Bond, it works in your favor. They’re not questioning it.”
“They wouldn’t question it if it was staring them in the face,” I scoff. “And truthfully, I think they’d rather die than be Bonded to me.”
Resting both hands on the table, she leans forward and narrows her eyes at me. “You don’t really think that. You can’t possibly. Especially with Vaelenor. He’s been running around buying you things and sulking like someone kicked his puppy since he found out you’re really Caelan’s Mate.”
“Right. And he did nothing before that. He wasn’t as cruel as Dax, but he was a coward.” I clench my jaw, misery changing to anger. “He snuck around trying to do things for me behind Daxen’s back because he didn’t want to fight with his Packmate. Now he feels bad because Caelan is angry and maybe… maybe he feels bad for how he treated me, but he’s never even apologized.”
My voice cracks, and I have to blink away tears. I turn from Branwen and press my palm to my sternum, where our Bonds rest. Like usual, they’re listless. Almost non-responsive. Coiled in on themselves.
They don’t even reach out for my Mates anymore. There have been a few moments—like when I discovered Vae bought me Nesting Materials and had all those clothes delivered—when his thread would perk up and reach out for him. Then it would inevitably hit that wall and retreat further than before.
“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” I whisper, urging myself not to cry. I’ve cried over them too much already.
“Idril…”
The way Branwen says my name has my instincts immediately on edge. My Omega, who’s been much more present lately, if mostly silent, starts pacing like she knows something I don’t.
I turn around, lock eyes with her, and know deep in my bones that I’m not going to like whatever she’s about to say.
“Don’t freak out.”
“That is literally the worst thing you can say to someone.”
She winces, biting her lower lip. Then she blurts, “I can smell your Omega perfume.”
No. No way.
I’m on suppressants. My Scent is muted, like it’s always been my entire life. Just like my Omega instincts are…
Except… are they? Wasn’t I just saying my Omega has been much more present lately?
A deep inhale confirms what I wish I could still keep denying. The scent of wild honey, smoked vanilla, and musk invades my senses, making me gasp.
It’s been so, so long since I’ve scented my own perfume. And last time, I’d been barely conscious. And now…
The tears I’ve been fighting back fall. There’s no stopping them.
I calculate how long we’ve been down here and realize I’ve been off my suppressants for over thirty-six hours. That means I’ve missed one full dose and am probably close to missing a second.
My Scent is only going to get stronger.
“They’ll Scent me,” I whisper, horrified as the thought sinks in. The blood drains from my face as I turn my wide, tear-filled eyes to my friend. “They’ll Scent me, and they’ll know.”
Branwen walks around the table and wraps her arms around me. I fall into her embrace like a puppet with its strings cut. Fear rushes through my limbs, making me shake. I feel concern surge down my Bonds, and I do my best to send reassurance back, but I’m not sure I do that well.
“They’ll know, and then they’ll hate me even more,” I cry, envisioning just how awful it’s going to be.
“No, we’ll figure something out, okay? Maybe when we get out I can run ahead and get a dose. Caelan and Soren know how important it is; they’ll make sure no one Scents you.”
That’s… actually a good plan. It’s not like Dax and Vae will be waiting for us. We don’t even know exactly where we are. If Branwen can sneak back and make it to Calder or Lenora…
Pulling back, I wipe my hands across my cheeks to clear the tears, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.
This can work. It has to.