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I shake my head in confusion. “Why does it matter?”

“Look, the Obsidian Council has massively let me down by failing to get me out of here and help me clear my name, so when I’m free, I plan to hold it against them. I will ensure they give you back the status you lost when you were forced to give up your virginity. But the more Pledges that see you with Lawson, the harder it will be for me to find you a decent Order Husband when this is all over.”

The words seem to ring around my head on repeat as I stand there in silence, mulling over the plans my dad is making without even discussing them with me first.

My head throbs like a fierce drumbeat against my skull, as a hot, bitter tide of anger surges through my veins, a palpable heat that prickles my skin. As the pressure builds, and a tight knot forms in my chest, I can no longer contain the storm raging within.

“I don’t want to be a fucking Order Wife,” I shout, startling us both.

“Harper Westmore, watch your language,” Dad snaps back, sounding baffled by my outburst.

“No, Dad, I will not watch my language, and I’m not going to tell Lawson that we need to keep things behind closed doors. Even if I told him that, he wouldn’t listen, and honestly, I wouldn’t want him to.” The words rush out of me, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I don’t censor them. I let my dad hear exactly what I’m thinking.

“You like him.” Although it’s said as a statement, I don’t miss the hope that he might be wrong.

“I do,” I reply confidently, holding my head high even though he can’t see me.

Dad lets out a long, frustrated groan, and I can imagine him running his fingers through his greying hair in frustration, the way I’ve seen him do so many times before.

“Harper, you can’t like him. I know you don’t want to hear that, but it’s true. You are Lawson’s Prize, nothing more. And while I’ll forever be grateful to him for keeping you safe while I can’t, I don’t appreciate the way you’re changing for him. Your time with him will come to an end very soon, and you have to think about the future that comes after Lawson.”

Each word is like a dagger to my heart, as he reminds me of all the things I’m choosing to ignore. I know my time with Lawson has been numbered since the start, that the sands of time are falling, pushing us further away from each other, but I’ve been holding out hope that something will come along to change that. My dad has voiced every fear I’ve kept hidden deep down, and the pain is unbearable.

“I’m not changing for him, I’m changing because of him,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper as I try to explain the ways Lawson has made me better. “He’s the only person who has ever taken the time to get to know the real me. He has never tried to change me, to make me into something I’m not. He pushes me to be the person I want to be.

“So, yes, our time together may be limited, but when it ends, I will never go back to the person I was before. Now that I’ve found myself, I won’t ever let that go.”

A dark, humourless laugh escapes my dad, its tone bordering on nasty. “You sound like a lovesick teenager, Harper, living in a foolish dreamworld. That’s not real life. In our world, you will be whoever your husband wants you to be. Fucking Lawson shouldn’t be putting these foolish ideas in your head.”

The anger bubbling under the surface bursts free, and I can’t hold back. “This is nobody’s fucking fault except yours. If you had never gotten arrested, my world would never have imploded, and I wouldn’t have agreed to be Lawson’s Prize. If it weren’t for you fucking things up, I’d still be with Ryan, pretending I was happy living a life in the shadows, looking sweet and pretty instead of having a voice of my own.

“You might not be happy with the way things have worked out—not the way I am—but you have nobody else to blame for this except yourself. You can want me to change all you like, but I will not go backwards.”

As soon as the last words leave my lips, I let out a relieved sigh, the heaviness on my shoulders easing now that I’ve gotten it off my chest. I hate that I yelled at my dad, and that I blamed him for getting arrested, but it was something that needed to be said.

Now that I’ve tasted freedom, there’s no going back for me. Even if Lawson isn’t part of my future—fuck, does that thought hurt—I still plan on being this version of myself.

“Harper—” I can hear the plea in his voice, so I cut him off before he gets the chance to say anything more.

“Look, Dad. I’ve done everything you’ve ever asked of me, and I’ve always tried to make you proud. And while I still want to do that, I will not sacrifice my own happiness or freedom to get it.”

Silence sits heavily between us, almost as if neither of us knows what to say to get past this. I don’t think it’s something we’re ever going to agree on.

That’s when the realisation hits that I want Dad to stay in prison for a little longer. Even though he hates it there, and his life is on the line every second of the day, the thought of him getting out scares me. While he’s inside, I can hold on to this life for just a little longer.

Fuck, how much of a terrible daughter am I that I hope my dad stays in a dangerous prison, even though I know he’s innocent, because I’m not ready to give up whatever this thing with Lawson is yet?

I’m certain Dad will do everything in his power to make me end things the moment he’s free, so he can align me with someone who will boost our name and status back to where it was, but I don’t want that. I don’t even think it’s something the Council can grant.

Dad’s holding out hope he can change their minds, but the Obsidian Order rules have been in place forever. When Lawson took my virginity, he stole any future I might have had as an Obsidian Order Wife, and while that doesn’t bother me, Dad won’t stop until he finds a loophole to get around the Council.

After what feels like forever, Dad breaks the silence, and my heart aches when I hear the pain laced in his voice. “Are you still going to help get me out of here? Is Lawson going to keep his word, or do I need to find someone else?”

Although his words cut, I know why he’s asking. It doesn’t exactly look like Lawson has done anything to fulfil his end of the bargain, but in all honesty, we’ve been so lost in each other, I haven’t asked him to help me.

“Of course, we’re still going to help you. I have no plans to go back to the shy nobody I was before, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still want to clear your name…and mine.”

He scoffs, “You were never a nobody, buttercup.”