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“This is what I want for my boon,” Misha cut in. “I want to come with.”

Iryana felt her brows tugging together. Her sister could only claim one boon for her birthday, and this is what she’d pick? Going on a dangerous foraging mission with her sisters? Well, perhaps it wasn’t that surprising, but still.

It had been so long since anyone had asked for a boon from her for their birthday. Iryana hadn’t asked for one since she was a little girl. The thought made her heartsick.

She looked to Hadima, who was chewing her lip. She met Iryana’s eyes and shrugged, as if to say she didn’t like it, but it was up to Iryana.

“Alright, Misha.” Iryana hoped above everything that she wouldn’t regret this. “You can come.”

Chapter Seventeen

Iryana trekked through the snow with her sisters at first light. Their window of daylight would be short, so they had to hurry. Luckily, they could follow the paths the patrols had blazed, the snow already compacted, allowing them an easier time with their snowshoes.

Her sisters were bundled up tight—warm layers under their heavy fur coats, high felt boots and leg wrappings under fur overshoes. Thick scarves covered their lower faces to block out the icy wind, and wool and fur hats covered their heads and necks. Iryana’s belt was wrapped around her middle, holding her hand axe and falchion, while her quiver and bow were slung around her shoulder.

Not having taken her oaths yet, Misha didn’t spend as much time outside. Her collection of fire-imbued gear was limited, so she’d borrowed Sanora’s coat and leggings.

Iryana led the way, listening carefully to the sounds of the forest. The weight of being responsible for both of her sisters sat heavily on her shoulders.

“And you remember what to do if I signal?” Iryana called back again.

Misha sighed loudly, as if offended. “Yes. Hold my shield.”

The morning patrol hadn’t seen any dakii tracks in their part of the valley, but Iryana wasn’t taking any chances.

“Good.”

When they made it to the spot Hadima wanted, a short way off one of the patrol paths, it was time to get to work. Hadima instructed them on what to look for, and while Iryana immediately knew what her sister wanted and where she could look for it, Misha needed much more instruction. She had been too young to go foraging with their mother and she hadn’t learned like they had.

“Are you excited for your birthday?” Iryana asked awkwardly as she searched the trees near Misha.

Things had been a little different since the ceremony. Misha seemed more conflicted and less openly hostile.

Misha didn’t turn, but at least she answered. “It means only two more years until I turn sixteen and can do my part.”

Iryana had been in a rush to turn sixteen as well, but for entirely different reasons.

“You know, you’re doing what you need to do now to—”

“I know, Iryana.”

Iryana swallowed tightly and changed tactics. “You’ll get to start running some practice missions now. Working up to taking your oaths.”

Misha gave her a long look, she knew this already, but Iryana paled. Those missions… that was when their cousin Marisha had been killed.

“How are your studies?” Iryana nearly squeaked, voice uncomfortably high as she changed the subject.

“Fine,” Misha said shortly, wiping the bits of snow and ice off a tree to get to the bark.

Iryana looked over to Hadima for help.

“Fight for her,” Hadima mouthed, then added out loud, “I’m grabbing this bark over here.”

Iryana’s eyes narrowed. She wanted help, guidance. Not a moment alone with Misha to talk. She watched Hadima slip farther away. It wasn’t too far, she was still in sight, but it made her nervous. She’d have to say whatever she was going to say quickly.

Her heart pounded ferociously, the sound echoing inside her ribs. She couldn’t let fear hold her back. But her determination didn’t make it any easier to know what to say. To understand her sister’s feelings for her. To know how to fix it. Hadima had said Misha might feel abandoned, betrayed, but those were such simple labels for such complicated emotions. Iryana didn’t know what the right words were, so she settled for addressing the parts she was most ashamed of.

“I hope you know that my staying away from the family had nothing to do with you,” Iryana forced out quickly. “It wasn’t your fault, or because you weren’t enough, or because I don’t love you.”