Page 233

She was a bit dazed, but she could hear bits of their angry shouts. “We deserve to outlive this!” and “You were inside at the temple, it’s our turn,” and “You people are so selfish!” There were a few voices of reason trying to calm people down, but many had joined in. Half her clan was part of it.

Iryana just stared in shock for a moment.

They had fought together to hold the post, to make it here. Yet as she looked among their faces, she saw mouths pinched in fear, eyes wide and darting toward the side of the ledge. They were scared. And it was tearing everyone apart.

Her breaths came faster and faster.

This had to end. Now.

“Shut up!” Iryana screamed, forming her water-forged staff with a pained cry and slamming it into the rock hard enough that a ripple moved through the alcove.

Chapter Forty-Six

Her shout quieted everyone, and all eyes were on her. “Sit! Anyone who doesn’t sit down immediately is getting whacked!”

She waited, fuming, as people dropped to the stone floor, nearly on top of one another. Pyetar came to stand near her, staring down any soldiers who were hesitating. She was so angry she was shaking.

“I am ashamed of ALL of you!” Iryana yelled when they had all obeyed. “We’re all people! We all deserve to live! Would you really rather die alone than work together? Those are your choices. Work the fuck together, or I will shove you off this cliff myself.”

She locked eyes with each of her clan members. Tonhald, Kladara, and Edvar sat in the crowd to one side of her, her old team on the other. She was sick and tired of putting up with this for fear of upsetting them. It wasn’t helping anyone. She wasn’t helping anyone.

Iryana grabbed Pyetar’s hand and addressed them all again, voice a little calmer. “The past doesn’t matter right now. Being a guardian means nothing. Rank means nothing. There are gods warring over Istri, as if we are nothing. As if your deaths are no more than a minor inconvenience to them, if they even notice. Fuck them. If you want to be angry at someone, be angry with them!”

She looked around wildly, at the people who had so much more in common than they thought. Looking at her cousins, she pointed to where Mezhimar sat. “Mezhimar has the best skills with a bow of anyone I’ve ever met. If you could see him as a fellow archer, he could teach you so much.

“My cousin Edvar is good enough to destroy the soldiers I’ve seen playing cards at the fort. He’s great fun to play with, if you’d bother inviting him to your table. And he would likely drink many of you under the table.” Her eyes flicked to Vaneshta and Vabihn.

“Lidishta, you remind me so much of my cousin Kladara. You’re both fierce and protective, and I think she would really like you.”

Iryana found her grandmother sitting near the back, and she took a moment to let that relief sink in.

She squeezed Pyetar’s hand. “Grandmother, you have more in common with Pyetar than you think. He’s made so many tough decisions, done so many things that weigh on him. But he cares so much about people, just like you do. You’ve both given up everything in order to help your people.”

She couldn’t read her grandmother’s face. Iryana was afraid, so she just kept turning, pointing out the people she knew and the things that tied them together. She found her old instructor at the brigade.

“My Uncle Dinhal was the last metal-forged in my family. He handles most of our combat training now. I’m sure you would have a lot of things to talk about, Tenar.”

Iryana pointed at her distant cousin.

“The brigade is protective of its families after everything they’ve lost. Darsha has lost as much as anyone to the dakii. Her parents, both her siblings, and her husband. She has stayed strong for her kids. And when her brother died over the summer, leaving his five-year-old boy an orphan, she immediately took him in and loved him like her own son.

“Pepha is quiet and everyone always underestimates her. But I’ve seen her jump out of a tree onto a dakii with just a knife.”

Eyes clung to her as she spun.

“My cousin Tonhald is as disgustingly in love with his wife as you are, Vabihn. And look at their beautiful daughter. He’s a dad like you. Some of you might think the guardians are softer, and I acknowledge how tough your lives are. But have you met my sisters? Hadima tried to take on Karvek by herself, not many have that much bravery. And Misha? She held the gate with my clan for hours before it fell. She is fourteen. And she is as tough as any seasoned fighter with decades of experience.”

Iryana couldn’t help a laugh. “And Vaneshta? She is a badass. I’ve seen her take on packs of dakii by herself. I’ve seen her fight huge men with only her bare fists and win. And she is the most protective person I’ve met.”

She was breathing so hard. “I don’t know all of you that well. But I know we’re all here because we care deeply for what we do. We are the steel and magic that stands between the monsters and mankind. We are the blades that have protected our families. We are the people who were never given the option of safety. And we all are just the same.”

They were all silent as Iryana’s chest heaved. For a moment, she worried she had let her fear and anger get the best of her. That she’d gotten too carried away and ruined everything.

But then Tonhald stood, Anara in his arms, and walked over to Vabihn. “Would you like to hold her?” he offered. Iryana stared in shock as Vabihn took the little girl and immediately started making faces at her. Teshya sat next to Soyara, talking softly to Galehna and their newest daughter.

A soldier she didn’t recognize came up to Edvar. “Any chance you brought some cards? My friends and I are beyond bored and could use a game.”

One of the earth settlers asked a soldier holding a lute if he’d play with her.