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Her eyes tracked over Iryana’s face slowly. Setting a bowl on the table for Hadima, Misha dropped to the ground next to Iryana. She held out a warm bowl of oat porridge.

“Thank you.”

They were quiet for a while. Just the sounds of Hadima grinding ingredients, Misha and Iryana’s spoons tapping against the side of their bowls, and the normal background noise of their clan moving around the house.

“So, what’s the plan?” Hadima asked as she crouched down and started rubbing an earthy-smelling cream under Iryana’s eyes. It made her eyes water, but Iryana suffered through it, trying not to scrunch her nose.

Misha narrowed her eyes. “I vote we just send a message. Nope, sorry. Not interested. She didn’t bother reaching out until now, we don’t owe telling her in person.”

“I don’t want to see her,” Iryana bit out quickly. She didn’t care if they sent a letter or said nothing at all. She just couldn’t go back there.

Hadima’s face fell but she didn’t answer right away. She put the cream away, grabbed her bowl, and joined them on the floor, her legs folded carefully beneath her.

“What if I go by myself?” Hadima offered.

“I can’t ask you to do that.” Iryana frowned at the thought.

“I don’t mind. I’d like to say goodbye.” Hadima looked down at her bowl. “Who knows if we’ll see her again.”

Of the three of them, Iryana knew Hadima would be the most tempted to go with their mother.

Misha shrugged, uncaring. But every line of her body hunched over that bowl was tense. Her knuckles were white from gripping her spoon.

“If you’re sure.” Iryana felt cowardly allowing it, but she was clinging to her numbness. Needed it to keep going.

Hadima nodded. “Maybe I can convince her to stay…”

Iryana immediately shook her head. “Let her leave. The clan doesn’t need the turmoil it would cause for her to come back.”

Hadima chewed on her bottom lip, her spoon stirring her porridge absently. “Alright.”

There was so much happening, so much that could go wrong. Iryana needed to focus. Needed to play the part of an heir.

Iryana made it through the day, but it only felt like she could truly breathe once Hadima confirmed that she’d talked to their mother.

She was walking across the post when Pyetar found her.

“Hey,” he said.

She didn’t answer at first, overwhelmed by the urge to throw herself into his arms.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“No.” She couldn’t bring herself to lie to him. “But I’m pulling it together. I don’t have any more time to fall apart.”

He nodded solemnly. “Just know I’m here. Always. If you need to talk or just need someone to hold you…”

She offered a small smile. “I know, Pyetar.”

Chapter Forty

Iryana finally admitted to herself that it seemed unlikely the wall would hold.

The front line had been breached numerous times, the dakii getting closer to the wall each time. But the last settlement still hadn’t arrived yet, and Iryana worried that they weren’t going to. It had been two days since the fox-serpent had shown her the vision of Vaneshta leading them, but that could have been from a week earlier for all she knew.

Lidishta stood beside her, watching the trees as they waited for another round of dakii to swarm them. Lidishta had been at the front line more than anyone, volunteering over and over instead of rotating through the different positions like most of the others.

If the settlement was lost, it likely meant Vaneshta was too.