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Iryana had never felt as much rage toward her mother as she did right then. Rage and panic.
“I couldn’t save you ten years ago. But let me save you now.” She petitioned them with all the desperation of a mother bear protecting her cubs. But she’d lost that right.
Iryana was confused. She was feeling so many things that she couldn’t even label all of them. She just needed this to be over. Needed her mother to go away.
Hadima was the first to answer. “I know you want to help, but you can’t just ask us to leave everyone we love the first time we see you in ten years.”
Misha nodded her agreement.
“I wish we had more time, but we have to get to the temple before they seal it up. We have to leave tomorrow.”
The air was stifling, yet there wasn’t enough of it. Iryana was breathing so hard, and yet her lungs burned for air. Her skin was so hot it itched.
“I can’t do this.” Iryana backed up a step, looking between her sisters.
“Let’s go then,” Misha declared, jutting her chin up defiantly.
Hadima looked awkwardly toward their mother.
“We’ll… talk about it tomorrow.” Hadima hesitated before rushing toward their mom and throwing her arms around her.
A surge of something Iryana still couldn’t name almost choked her, and she turned away. Unable to watch. Iryana gestured Misha ahead of her and followed her little sister back out into the camp.
Pyetar spun around the moment they left the tent. He was waiting a distance away with the other soldiers. His eyes searched hers, but she didn’t want to look at him. Didn’t want to explain. It was like he could see it on her face, because he stepped aside when she stormed by. Didn’t try to stop her.
Iryana needed to get somewhere no one could see her fall apart. She was holding it together by a thread that was already frayed through.
Misha muttered angrily as they wove between the tents. There wasn’t a hint of softness to her anger, nor any sign of mercy. Misha just raged.
By the time they made it back to the village houses, Hadima had caught up to them. She kept glancing over at Iryana and Misha, but she stayed silent. The sounds of the camp were closing in around them.
Iryana focused on each step, each breath. Like a mantra to get her away from that tent. Away from the mother who had abandoned her. Walk. Keep walking. Keep breathing, in and out.
Iryana pushed through the side entrance, avoiding the main hall entirely, hoping she wouldn’t run into anyone. Her sisters were still trailing behind her. Misha’s steps were heavy, but Hadima’s were soft and tentative.
So close.
Just as they almost reached the stairs to the second floor, their grandmother rounded the corner. Iryana hesitated mid-step, staring right at her. She watched her grandmother’s eyes narrow in concern, her lips pursing as she tried to read Iryana’s face.
Jerking her head away, Iryana tore up the steps. She couldn’t bear to hear what her grandmother might have to say about it. The pity, her own guilt… she just couldn’t stomach it. It felt like she was coming apart at the seams.
“Iryana?” her grandmother called from behind her. “Hadima, tell me what’s going on.”
“I—” her older sister stuttered from the hall below, but Iryana didn’t slow. She needed to get out of there now.
“Our mother is here,” Misha snapped. Iryana jerked as she crested the steps.
“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” Hadima squeaked out. Her favorite excuse to get them out of these conversations.
Iryana didn’t hear her grandmother’s response. Walk. Keep walking. Keep breathing, in and out.
“Misha!” Hadima chastised as her sisters raced up behind her. “Mom clearly didn’t want grandmother to know she was here.”
“That’s what she gets for being a coward.”
Hadima just sighed wearily.
Gods, why did their mother have to show up now? Iryana already doubted her ability to handle everything, to live up to the great mantle that had been set upon her shoulders. And then her mother had to swoop in and remind her how small she was.