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Pepha gasped, clasping her heart. Vaneshta wrapped her arms around Lidishta. Major Tenar was completely focused on her, every ridge of his face tense.

“They tortured us,” she whimpered. “Hurt us until we couldn’t fight anymore, and then they started tattooing us.”

Iryana was horrified, and she wasn’t the only one. Vaneshta was shaking, she was so angry, but she still held Lidishta gently, rubbing her hands over Lidishta’s back.

“That’s horrible,” Pepha breathed.

“That’s not the worst part,” Lidishta choked out, curling in on herself. “I could feel the magic ripping me apart, it was so painful. But the other initiate screamed louder. Until eventually he stopped screaming. And then I could feel it. Something from him being tattooed into me, something making the bond take. It didn’t hurt as badly after that, but I screamed even louder because it felt so wrong.”

Vaneshta tucked her head against Lidishta’s shoulder, and Iryana could tell she was crying for her lover.

“They told me the dual-forging required sacrifice, that I should feel lucky the magic chose me to be the one to survive it.” Lidishta’s tears streamed down her cheeks. “Lucky.”

Iryana met Pyetar’s eyes, and they shared a horrified look.

“Please don’t go there,” Lidishta begged, pulling at Vaneshta’s arm.

“No, no, of course not.” Vaneshta pulled Lidishta into her arms. “No one is going.”

“Promise me!”

“I promise,” Vaneshta said, voice dropping low.

Lidishta nodded, sniffling and trying to school her features. “Okay. Good. And we already have a dual-fire-forged… I’ll fight the metal-badgers.”

“Lidi…” Vaneshta hesitated.

“My magic still feels wrong, every moment of every day. I should use it for something good.” Lidishta looked between them all, something weighing down that gaze.

“If you’re willing,” Iryana agreed.

When Lidishta nodded, they all seemed to settle, accepting this solution despite the heaviness in the room.

“Hopefully, we will find another option soon,” Pyetar said quietly.

Iryana couldn’t even imagine the horror of it. The only consolation was that so few seemed to have been forged like that. She tried to imagine how an unsuspecting Karvek had taken it, though the odds that his own father had been the one to send him were high. Perhaps he knew and chose to take the risk.

“We should give them some space,” Iryana told the others quietly, moving toward Lidishta to squeeze her shoulder in support. Lidishta smiled weakly back at Iryana, but Vaneshta still hadn’t looked away from her.

Iryana slipped out of the room, the others close behind her. Before she got too far, Pyetar pulled her aside in one of the halls with a gentle tug on her hand.

When he reached for her, to pull her against his chest, Iryana stiffened, remembering what she’d told her family.

“I can’t—”

He froze. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“I told the clan that this wouldn’t happen anymore.”

He frowned down at her. “We’ve been hiding it from them this entire time, I don’t understand what’s changed.”

“Now they know there was something. And I said I would stop. I… need to mean it. I can’t lie to them about this anymore. They would never forgive me. I’m sorry.” And it felt like crossing a line she couldn’t bring herself to do.

His lips parted. “So that’s it? You’re done with me?”

“No, no.” She swallowed. “I just need us to wait. Once this is all over, I will be in a better place to convince them.”

“What if it’s never over?” His voice was hard. One of his masks slid over his face and brought cold indifference.