Page 45

A little?

“It’s fine, sweetheart. Just sleep.” No sarcastic comments out loud tonight. Right now, all she needs is comfort, and fuck, it sounds nice to let myself relax for once.

I open my eyes again; the sun shining through the wide windows beside the bed. I forgot I wasn’t home last night. Actually…I don’t think I’ve slept in a bed with anyone like this. I have always avoided it for obvious reasons. It creates too many expectations. For which I’ve accidentally created way too fucking many of last night.

When I try to sit up, she quickly stirs and turns around toward me half-asleep. “Kane?”

“I’m here. Sleep more,” I whisper, leaning down and resting my forehead onto hers.

“I’m scared you won’t be here when I wake up again.”

Fuck, this was all a horrible idea. I can’t even fucking process all the different reasons that I shouldn’t have done any of this. When she looks up at me like that, I break. How the hell does she do that to me? “I’m not leaving yet. I’m going to make breakfast, because I’m starving.”

“Oh…I’m not sure what there is,” she says as she sits up, rubbing her eyes.

I walk over to her fridge, and I am fucking appalled. There are some diet sodas, a few random juices, some leftover cupcakes, a jar of pickles, and eggs. I turn to her and she looks down, scratching her head. Surely her fucking cabinets have something, right?

Oh, I was very wrong. This woman has the largest box of instant ramen I’ve ever seen, and maybe some random canned fruits. Jesus fucking Christ. “You really don’t have groceries?”

“Well…they’re expensive right now. I usually have ramen or…leftovers from the bakery. Sometimes I order takeout.” She shrugs and walks around the small island and puts her elbows down on it, leaning over to rest her head on her hands.

“Little girl, this is not how you live. I’m going to fix it, and you’re going to make sure you eat real food. Got it?” I can’t believe I even have to tell her this.

“Okay daddy,” she replies with a smile on her face.

“Careful,” I warn, pointing my finger at her. I cannot fuck her again until I figure this all out. She watches as I take out her carton of eggs and decide I might as well do something with what she has here. It’s done pretty fast, and I plate it and slide it over to her.

I plate my own, leaning back against the opposing counter as I eat. The sunlight streams through the windows, and a ray shoots directly onto her. Her bright hair glows perfectly against the light, and it suits her. She’s completely unaware of my gaze, and enjoying the food after a night of drinking, I’m sure.

God, she’s beautiful. She’s definitely too good for someone like me. Or anyone. I can’t imagine even one fucking man who could deserve someone like her. How will she even meet anyone genuine when she’s this trusting?

On the other hand…I can’t keep her just because of that. Her entire existence is a can of worms, just waiting to pop. If I don’t stop it, I’m not sure how much longer I can last without being unmasked. I can’t be as hopeful as Mason; thinking I can just stop the killings and go about my life, as if everyone else will stop caring or looking for me.

My hole has been dug deep, and it’s only a matter of time I’m placed in it.

“I think I might have rubbed my friend’s new girlfriend the wrong way last night,” she blurts out to break the silence, staring sadly at her phone screen now.

“Yeah?”

“Ugh, it’s just, she seemed familiar, so I kept insisting, and I was so drunk I was a mess.” She sighs into her hands, shaking her head before removing them again. “I should apologize, right? I mean I was just trying to be friendly because I was excited for Crystal, but I think I’m a bit much for some people sometimes. I’m a little hyper.”

“Who cares? You shouldn’t apologize for being yourself. You can apologize for being wasted, but not that. If she has a problem with your personality, then she’s the one who has to adapt.”

“Okay, maybe you’re right. Thank you.” She smiles, and lets out a relieved sigh now.

She needs a lot of reassurance. And attention. And help.

Fuck, it gets harder and harder to just wash my hands of this.

“Oh, so, what should we do about the…um, you know,” she asks awkwardly, pointing slightly down.

Double fuck. I forgot all about that. Why did I even forget that last night? I must really have started to lose my mind with my age. I can’t get a girl pregnant at thirty-nine. I look back at her, and her sweet face stares back, waiting. Her chocolate brown eyes search mine, and her soft, pink lips pucker slightly as she thinks. God, it felt good to be inside her. To fill her with my…

No. Absolutely fucking not. I can’t believe I even let myself imagine her pregnant with my child. I need to distance myself, at least until I figure out her threat level. Once I have time to assess and neutralize whatever potential damage she’s caused online, I can figure out what to do with her.

“Well, that’s up to you. Do you want me to take you to the pharmacy? I can get the pill for you.”

“Is that what you think I should do?”