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“I’m fine,” I said tightly.

His eyes moved over the little bit of me he could see. “Open the door,” he demanded.

“No. You saw me. Good night.”

I started closing it. His palm hit the wood.

“Apple.” His voice was low. That didn’t make it any less determined.

I pushed against the door uselessly. His big ass was a mountain. “Saadiq, move your hand.”

I watched as he slid his phone into his pocket. “Let me see you,” he requested softly.

“You are seeing me,” I mumbled.

“Nah. I see half an eyeball and some bonnet.”

Despite everything, that made me laugh. He smiled a little. It was the lightest I’d felt since I first saw Adam in that restaurant. I shook my head, not wanting to deal with what that might mean. The smile he’d coaxed out of me disappeared.

“You happy now?” I asked, sounding irritated as hell.

He shook his head. “For what?”

Something in his voice made me stop pushing against the door. Saadiq lowered his head slightly, trying to see more of me through the narrow opening.

“I can’t ever be happy when you sad, Topaz.”

Now, why the hell would he say some shit like that? Fresh tears immediately burned my eyes. I looked down before he could see them. Neither of us spoke for several seconds. I could not stand his stubborn ass. Sighing, I opened the door wider. I still wouldn’t look at him.

“See? I’m alive. No emergency. I’m okay. You should’ve been focused on the Hayashis,” I fussed.

“Fuck the Hayashis. You been crying.”

I sniffed, stepped back from the door. “I said I’m okay,” I reminded him.

“I know what you said, but I don’t see what you said.”

His voice was gentle, which made everything worse. Standing on my porch, Saadiq Masters was going to undo me.

I folded my arms tightly over my chest, like I could physically hold myself together. “I’ll see you Monday.”

He didn’t move. Neither did I. The silence between us was awkward, full of all the things that should remain unsaid. Finally, Saadiq exhaled loudly.

“Make me understand. You spend all day, every day making sure everybody else straight. Then when something happens to you, you disappear somewhere and decide you gotta handle that shit by yourself.”

My throat tightened. “Saadiq…”

“I know you don’t need me to rescue you, Apple. I know you can carry your own shit. I’m just saying, when it gets heavy, you got somewhere to put it.”

That did it. A tear escaped before I could stop it. I quickly wiped it away. His jaw tightened, and for one second, I thought he might reach for me.

If he did, I might fall apart.

If he didn’t, I might fall apart.

“Saadiq… don’t,” I pleaded, voice breaking.

In the end, he kept his hand by his sides, fist tights, body stiff.