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“Holy, fucking—” I can’t finish my thought when he pulls out of me, flops back on the bed, and pulls me back with him.
“Are you going to sleep now, or do I need to fuck you again?” I’m tempted to say ‘fuck me again’ but I’m jelly-legged and have that warm, fuzzy after-sex feeling where you just know you’re going to have the best sleep ever. I nuzzle into his chest, shaking my head and closing my eyes. This is nice, it shouldn’t be nice — I should be running out of here. I know I’m headed straight for heartbreak city. He’s already angry with me.
* * *
“Dion,” Mika is whispering in my ear. So close I can feel his breath tickling my skin.
“Not now, I’m still sleeping.”
“Dion, we need to get up and go before anyone wakes up. Aroha can’t see you here, and I really don’t want to explain this to my mum. Please get up.” He shakes me gently, making sure I’m awake.
“Fuck my life, what time is it?”
“Five, I need to be at the clinic in an hour.”
“Why?” My body protests when I try to sit up. It’s sensitive, and I can feel he wasn’t gentle with me. This time he took what he wanted, and he needed me to feel that he was still mad at me. I can feel it now. It’s the ass-crack of dawn, the sun isn’t even up yet. Humans really shouldn’t be either. “You are fucking mad. Go to sleep.” I fold myself back into a ball under the sheet.
“I’m serious, Dion. Get the fuck up. And please, for the love of God, be quiet,” he says in an angry whisper. His tone says do not push my buttons.
“Ugh,” I groan, and he glares at me as I pull my heavy, tired body upright. Mika has set out my dirty clothes and shoes on the bed. And I can tell he’s in a hurry. I look and feel like death, and he looks like he stepped out of a men's deodorant advertisement, all fresh and sexy. God, it’s annoying how perfect he is.
We slink out of his house in silence, and the drive to the clinic is filled with nothing but his questionable taste in music. Mika is angry, with me, maybe with himself too. But I can tell that it’s one of those times where it’s better not to talk. I let my thoughts run riot, they are all over the place but mostly they’re stuck on ‘I hope that wasn’t the last time’. We park in front of the animal clinic and Mika hands me my car keys. “You can come in and quickly see Lola if you want to,” he says, but I can tell he’s hoping I won’t.
“I’d like to make sure she’s okay,” I say, just because I know he wants me to leave.
“Fine, come in then.” He doesn’t wait for me; he just gets out and starts unlocking the front doors. Inside, the building smells like disinfectant and dog hair and is eerily quiet. As soon as the door closes though, a choir of dogs begin to howl and bark from deep in the bowels of the building.
“Wait in here, I’ll see if she’s well enough for me to bring her to you.” He leaves me in the consulting room, it’s as cold in here as his personality. I want to just yell ‘what’s wrong?’ but I’m afraid I won’t like the answer. It’s taking very long, the temptation to go find him is there, but I don’t want to poke the angry bear. So, I walk in circles around the tiny room, opening cabinets that I shouldn’t be looking in. I read sticky notes that are scrawled in his handwriting — which is shockingly bad considering how neat the rest of him is.
I jump when the door opens. Mika comes in without Lola and my heart sinks to the floor. I can’t imagine going home to tell Holly-Anna her bunny died. No matter how annoying Lola is, my children love her. My face obviously says what I can’t get my voice to because Mika puts his hand on my shoulder.
“Lola is okay, she’s in pain and I didn’t want to move her and make it worse. You can bring the girls to come visit her this evening if you’d like. I’ll take them in the back so they can sit with her there.” I wipe the Goddamn tears leaking out my eyes and nod.
“Thank you, Mika,” is what I manage to say as he washes his hands, pulls on a white coat, and gets ready for his workday.
“It’s what I do, Dion. This is my job, saving animals. I’ll see you later with the kids.” He dismisses me, not a word about last night. He’s still angry, it’s not hard to tell. I leave the animal clinic with my phone dead, my head thumping, and for some reason my heart aching. I tell myself it’s because of the bunny. Pulling into the driveway, Asher's helmet rolls off the seat with a thud. He probably didn’t help things between Mika and me.
Opening my front door, the house is empty and quiet. There’s a scribble on the chalkboard in the kitchen from my sister that says: Gone to my house, I have food. My phone was off, she probably tried to call or text. I assume she’ll drop the kids at school then come to work.
Grabbing the helmet, I trudge over to Jillian’s house, Asher’s motorcycle still very conspicuously parked in her driveway. She certainly likes to play with fire — hide that shit in the garage or you’ll have the gossip tree set on fire. I put the helmet on the porch swing, I don't have it in me to knock, and chat and pretend what they’re doing is okay, because it’s not okay. My stealthy retreat is ruined when Asher opens the door in his boxer briefs and socks. Really keeping a low profile.
“How’s the bunny?” he asks.
“Alive, for now,” I say, irrationally angry with him because I know he’s sorry, I just need to be mad at someone, anyone will do. Mika’s mad at me so I’ll take it out on the dirty little secret playing house next door. “I left your helmet for you,” I say, brushing him off and walking back home, stepping on her azaleas for the fun of it.
I need a shower, three espressos and my head checked. Not necessarily in that order.
It’s going to be a long Friday. Starting with the lawyer's email saying I must allow Derick to fetch the children for the weekend. It grinds me, but I could also use some peace and quiet. My phone has charged enough to turn on and I instantly wish I’d just left it off. It lights up like fireworks on the fourth of July weekend.
Ping.
Ping.
Ping.
Notifications going mad. I switch it to silent and enjoy my coffee and a shower before I face reality.
“What are you doing?” Amelia interrupts me watching Mika’s InstaFam video for the tenth time. The thousands of comments and views on my Lola video and his update have blown up my phone and I’ve written off the workday because I’m so distracted.
