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Fuck. No chance I’m bringing up the job now. She’s not going to be in any shape for other shitty news after this.

Collins returns a minute or so later, handing me the phone.

“You’re sure about this?” I arch an eyebrow.

“The sooner I know, the sooner I can start to get over it. I’m tired of being in limbo. It’s been almost two years.”

The mention of the timeline brings up the fact that the two-year anniversary of Caleb’s death is approaching.

I clear my throat. “All right, what’s the code?”

She tells me, and I punch it in, then tap on the text message app. I scroll up to the beginning of the messages, noting the date, and start reading. I feel Collins watching me for a bit, but then she gets up and walks over to the window beside the fireplace and looks outside.

My stomach grows sour as I keep reading and my face heats with anger. I can’t believe that my best friend, the guy I knew like a brother, would do this behind his wife’s back. Say these kinds of things to another woman. I’ll never understand it.

It takes a long time to get through all the messages. When I finally finish, I exit the app and click the button on the side of the phone to close the screen. “All right, I’m done.”

Collins releases a rough exhale, then she turns to face me. “I have some questions.”

My heart rate picks up. I’m not sure what she’s going to ask, but I don’t look forward to having to be the one to deliver her hurtful news. She’s already been through so much.

“What do you want to know?”

“How long was he seeing her?”

“The first message on this phone was about eight months before he died.”

She seems to take that in stride, though there’s very little emotion showing on her face. “So there’s a good chance they were seeing each other a little longer than that.”

I nod.

“Did you get any idea of how it started?”

I shake my head. “No, I didn’t see any mention of anything like that in there.”

She tucks a piece of hair that’s fallen out of her French braid behind her ear. “I keep wondering if they met by a fluke or if someone introduced them. Maybe she was related to someone else at the academy… the possibilities are endless, but in the end, it doesn’t really matter. The fact is they did meet, and whatever happened did.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

Collins nods. “Yeah, I need this. Doesn’t mean it’s not painful, though.”

“All right. What else do you want to know?”

She swallows. Hard. “Did he… did he love her? Or was he just hooking up with her?”

I look away from her. The minute I read those three words, my heart sank for her, and I knew she’d ask this. I had thought it might be her first question.

“Ansel, tell me. Please.”

With a sigh, I look at her. “From what I saw, I would say that it probably started as physical and developed into something more.”

“But did he say he loves her? Did he send her a message that says that?” Tears are in her eyes as if she can read my body language.

I really don’t want to tell her.

“Collins…” My stomach roils. Why do I have to be the one?

“He did,” she whispers, phrasing it like a fact and not a question.