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“I like romance books about baseball. And I like TV shows they make based on those books even more.” She lets out a self-deprecating chuckle and sits on one end of the sofa.
Not sure where I should sit, I decide to sit in the middle. We’re adults. We’re not junior high kids who need distance to have an awkward conversation. We can do this. As right and wrong as it feels.
Once I’m seated, Collins bites her bottom lip. She’s as nervous as I am to have this conversation.
“I know you said that I didn’t need to apologize, but I do.”
Her head tilts, and a line forms between her brows.
“Regardless of what I felt, or what I think might be happening between us, I shouldn’t have sprung a kiss on you like that. I should’ve talked to you about it first.”
She nods. “Was…” Collins pauses, biting her lip again. “Was it just about the kiss for you, or…”
I take her hands. “No. Absolutely not. I wouldn’t do that just because I was attracted to you. It’s more than that. Since we’ve been spending time together, it feels like something has shifted between us. It went from friendship to something…more.”
She nods as I speak. “I feel it too.”
I swallow hard and squeeze her hands. “So what do we do?”
“It’s not something I expected to happen.” Her voice is soft and melodic.
“Me either.”
“I didn’t look at you as more than a friend until very recently.” She bites her lip, and my gaze goes there, cataloging the way her tongue peeks out after she releases it, almost as though she’s soothing the spot where her teeth were pressed.
“Same.” I nod.
“I feel so guilty about it.” Her eyes get a little glossy.
“Me too. It’s almost unbearable.”
Collins squeezes her eyes shut for a moment. “Do you think this feeling would ever go away?”
“I’m not sure.” I could say with time this thing I feel for her would go away, but I’m pretty positive it wouldn’t.
We look at each other for a moment, the tension between us thickening.
I clear my throat. “So… do we ignore it, these feelings we’re both having, or do we do something about them?” I’m almost afraid to ask the question, because I’m honestly not sure how I hope she answers.
“Let’s say we explored these feelings… I wouldn’t want anyone to know. At least, not right away.”
“We keep it between the two of us?”
“Maybe it will fizzle out.” She leans closer to me.
“No point in bringing other people into it if that’s the case.” I inch forward, my eyes lowering to her lips.
“No matter what happens, I want to remain friends.” Her face grows closer, and all I can think about is her lips on mine.
“If people found out, they’d judge us.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
“Is it worth the risk?” Her tongue slides along her bottom lip.
Damn, I want that tongue in my mouth.
“I think it is.” I hold my breath, waiting for her answer. She has to be in agreement.
“I do too.”
