Page 52

Ryan grins, holding his arms out expansively. “Have and will continue to. I love all God’s children, of every gender, race, religion, or creed. I’d let any one of you suck my dick.”

Everyone but Grady laughs.

“Then I feel very sorry for you,” he says, “because you’ll spend eternity in hell.”

Ryan hitches a shoulder. “At least I’m making the most of the trip there. Can’t say the same for you. Speaking of which, it’s your last night here, Danny. Want us to turn around so you and Juliet can be alone?”

Everyone laughs, but Danny laughs the hardest. And then he changes the topic back to fucking football, and his workout regimen.

Luke swallows. The bob of his Adam’s apple makes me thirsty.

“I’m going to have a beer,” I tell Danny. It’s half apology and half defiance.

His head jerks back. “What?”

I sigh. “It’s just a beer, Danny. I didn’t say I was going to shoot up.”

He hitches a shoulder. “It just seems like a bad idea.”

“So does pretending we’re sleeping together,” I mutter, “but that doesn’t seem to stop you.”

I grab a beer from the cooler and walk away. Not far, not dramatically. Danny barely seems to notice.

I take a few deep breaths, staring at the stars, wondering how the hell to straighten myself out. I think of my brother. How the world started to crush him, and how trying to make it stop ended him entirely.

“Hey,” says a voice in the darkness, and Luke walks up beside me.

I force a smile. “It’s your celebration. What are you doing over here?”

He shoves his hands in his pockets. “What are you doing over here?”

I glance up at him. This is the moment when I’d normally lie. If Danny had asked the question, I’d tell him I was looking at the stars because he wouldn’t want the truth. “Thinking about my brother.”

He steps closer. “You never talk about him.”

I stare at the sand between us. With anyone else, I’d lie about this too. But I know it’s safe, with him.

“These dealers were harassing him. I convinced him to go to the police and tell them the truth.” I laugh. “You probably expected me to be the last person who’d suggest telling the police the truth.”

“I guess it didn’t go well?”

“He was shot in the head on the way out of the station. One of the cops told. And they never even looked for the guys who did it. Broad fucking daylight and they claimed there were no cameras and no witnesses.”

“Having a shit life doesn’t make every bad thing that happens inside it your fault, Jules.”

I shrug. That may be true, but it sure doesn’t feel like it.

He squeezes my hand and nods upward. “Look.”

A star streaks through the sky. I close my eyes, but I want so many things from my life that I can’t pick one of them fast enough.

“What did you wish for?” I ask him. “You’ve already won Steamer Lane.”

He looks at me for one long moment. I think I might know what he wishes for, and I also know he’ll never say it aloud. His eyes fall to my mouth and my breath holds, wondering if he’s going to kiss me.

He wants to. I know he does.

“I’ll tell you what I should have wished for instead.” His voice is quieter than it was. “I should have wished that you get out of here. That you wind up doing what you love.”