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It wasn’t until my daddy tapped me that I realized that they were rolling my husband out of the church. Seeing his black and gold casket rolling by me made my heart stop. I squeezed my daddy’s hand and took a deep breath as I stood up to walk behind the security. Behind me, were the rest of the family. Because of the tension, I got in the car alone. I did ask if the kids could ride with me, but both of the mamas said no. My heart was broken and not being able to have a piece of Rah, which was his kids was making it worse. As soon as we pulled up to the graveyard, it started pouring down.

“I hate this shit.” I stared out the window.

“I know. Just a little while longer,” my daddy reassured me.

My daddy had been in my life since I came out of my mama. My daddy ran three gambling houses back in the day. He met my mama who was the local whore. She slept with all the niggas as long as she got her bills paid and wore the newest Coogi outfit. My daddy would tell me how much he loved that woman, but she loved money more. Once she had me, she dropped my ass off and took her ass on to the next dick. Occasionally, I would run into her. I had no hate in my heart for her. She did what was right by leaving me in the hands of my daddy.

She was driving a car as nice as mine. Her clothes were designer and she looked good with her old rich ass husband. My mama finally struck the gold she was looking for. The sad thing is that my daddy had just as much money back then. He just had to start hiding it when the Feds started sniffing. When it came to numbers and running cards, I learned that at an early age. My daddy didn’t raise me to be green. Though I knew the game and the streets, he taught me how to be a lady. How to dress and not show niggas too much. He didn’t want me to turn into the woman he fell in love with, and I understood that.

My daddy hadn't fallen for another woman since. He had his lady friends that would come and visit for a day or two, but after that, they had to go. I was thankful for him. There was never a time that I needed him, and he didn’t show up. He tried to step back when I married Rah. That shifted as soon as Rah cheated. My daddy was back on the scene to let his ass know, no matter how powerful he was, when it came to me, he would put his ass in the dirt. Shit, now I was feeling stupid for taking him back. The security came and opened the door with a black umbrella.

I asked the pastor to make this part quick. No one should watch the person they loved go into the dirt. Ryleigh was able to get loose from her mama and run up to me. As soon as her little hand touched me, I broke down. I tried to pick her up and put her on my lap, but her mama snatched her away from me.

“Raya, I would hate to take you to court ‘bout my granddaughter. Everyone out here knows yo’ ass won’t win. Snatch her the fuck again and see what happens. That lil’ girl loves Kyenna, and Kyenna loves her,” Pops said.

Jaharee handed me a tissue. Any other day, I would’ve never let this bitch get under my skin like this. My daddy raised a lady, but I knew how to slap the fuck out of a bitch. Once the pastor got done, me and the kids released doves. It was hard to do so with the rain, but we had already paid for them and they needed to be released. With security surrounding me, Averie approached.

“I don’t want to start drama because, unlike Raya, I have a lot to lose. I do want to tell you to your face that it’s fucked up you didn’t call us.”

“Respectfully, Averie, both of y’all can kiss my ass. I found my husband riddled with bullets. Y’all were the last ones on my mind.”

“Well.” Raya threw her hair over her shoulders. “We should have been the first people to cross your mind. Since we’re the one with the kids.”

“Girl, you make everything about you. Move ‘round,” Jahree chimed in.

“If I don’t move around, then what?” Raya said.

“Not today.” Shameek stood in between us. “If your only concern is if my niece will be straight, she will. I can’t speak for yo’ ass though.” He looked her up and down.

He then looked at Averie. I could tell he was disappointed in her. They had a pretty decent relationship from what Rah would tell me.

“And when it comes to my nephew and niece from you, I got them, too. Let this be the last time y’all get disrespectful to my muthafuckin’ sister-in-law. She don’t fuck with nobody.”

“Is the driver ready? I got to get out of here,” I told Shameek.

“Yeah,” he said. “Y’all walk her to the limo and follow behind her closely. I want one of you muthafuckas outside the gate at all times and another inside the gate,” he stated.

I didn’t even talk to my daddy on the drive back to my estate. There wasn’t nothing left to say. Today was final. The final fucking goodbye. Everyone was worried about themselves. While I was going home to an empty ass mansion. When we arrived, I just sat in the car for a second.

“You want me to stay? I don’t mind,” my daddy said.

“No, I’ll be fine. If I need you, I’ll call.”

“You sho’?”

“Positive.”

He grabbed me and brought me in for a hug and then placed a kiss on my forehead.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, Dad.”

He watched me walk into the house before I heard his old school Caprice crank up and pull off. I slipped my heels off and carried them in my hand. The house was quiet and eerie.

“Everyone keeps telling me to be strong…but they ain’t tell me how to do this without you, Rah.”

CHAPTER 2