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“It was spring. They were shivering,” Flame grumbled, though there was no bite in his tone, just exhaustion.
“There’s no shame in admitting that what we witnessed that day got to you or that you felt something for the shifters we rescued.”
Flame sniffled but didn’t say anything.
“It’s okay to be upset about your mate rejecting you too,” Rusty continued, “but at some point, you need to look in the mirror, own the reasons why and put in the work to make the changes you need to if you want your mate to change his mind.”
“Do I?” Flame asked. “Want that? Or would it make me a bigger asshole than Pops for wanting to be in Emari’s life knowing I’ll probably fuck it up?”
“Only you can answer that, since you’re the one who’ll have to live with the regrets and consequences of whatever action you take…or don’t.”
“I’ve never wanted to love anyone or anything but my bike and the club,” Flame admitted. “Not after…”
Rusty pressed his head against Flames, remembering, the same as his brother did, what it felt like losing the sibling they’d mourned and still missed terribly.
“How can you just…?” Flame sputtered.
Rusty appreciated him choosing his words carefully and not resorting to typical Flame nastiness and snark by saying something unkind.
“Doesn’t it scare you?” Flame asked at last. “To know that one day you might not have them anymore?”
“Every damn day,” Rusty admitted. “Know what scares me more?”
“What?”
“Thinking I’d never find them.”
This time, when the silence descended over them, Flame nudged a little closer until they were pressed as tightly together as when they’d huddle in the woods at the edge of town, waiting for the fighting at home to die down so they could go back. Sometimes it took until well after midnight, and they’d be exhausted when it was time to go to school in the morning. No matter how wretched Rusty felt, their folks always looked worse when they joined them at the breakfast table.
“Guess I counted on the Goddess to not make the same mistake with me as she made with Pops,” Flame snapped several minutes later. “Seriously, what kind of fucking fate gives someone something they didn’t want?”
“One that believed something good could come of the wolves it tied together,” Rusty replied, squeezing the back of Flame’s neck until he relaxed again.
Rusty could talk to him when he wasn’t getting bent out of shape, but once the profanities started flying, it was hard to get his brother’s fur unruffled enough for him to listen to reason.
Snorting, Flame pressed his head against Rusty’s shoulder again. “Like what? Because from where I’m standing, all they did was make a hot mess of their lives and ours.”
“You could look at it that way,” Rusty replied. “Or you could look at the good we’ve done, the shifters we’d rescued, and the missing we’ve reunited with the families that never gave up hope of them coming home. You could look at the shop and everything we’ve been able to do here. How many wolves rely on their vehicles, not just to get them to and from where they need to go, but also to carry food or supplies or bring in harvests and meat from a long-distance hunt? It might not seem like much if you look at it as just fixing a fucked-up vehicle, but for the wolves who own them, they are an important part of their lives.”
“It was easier when we just rolled in, cracked skulls, and brought in a team to help with the follow-up,” Flame grumbled.
“When did you start liking things easy?” Rusty asked, chuckling. “Isn’t bulldozing through everything in your path your usual MO?”
“Strategizing was always Baz and Cage’s department. I just wait for them to point me in the direction of what needs to be smashed.”
“There you go, that can be your first step. Learn to use your head first, instead of your fists, and for the love of the Goddess, start thinking before you open your mouth and alienate more wolves than you already have.”
“I can’t promise it’ll make much difference, but I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask, little brother,” Rusty replied.
“Do you think I could, um, maybe hang out with the pups sometimes if I get my shit together?”
“Prove I won’t regret it later,” Rusty said. “Then I’ll welcome you to spend time with them.”
Flame hugged him and remained in his embrace. “Thank you.”
“Thank me by making real changes and sticking to them so I can have my kid brother back.”
