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“What man of the cloth would be calling if he is not our cousin?” Lydia shot back.

“Lyddie, you may be right, but Kitty is also correct when she says you know not who he is without being introduced to him,” Jane, ever the peacemaker, opined. “There is no need to argue. If it is our cousin, we will meet him soon enough.”

“Did you two find the additional ribbons you just had to have while you were in Meryton? It is not like you did not purchase some on Friday and Saturday past,” Elizabeth asked sarcastically. She was sure she knew why the two youngest girls went into the town, and it was to flirt with officers. She had tried to point out the evils of her younger sisters running around without restraint, especially with Lydia’s brashness and inability to see danger as long as she was having fun. Mamma had told her to mind her own business when she had tried to speak to her, saying that Lizzy was jealous because Lydia was lively and pretty. The youngest Bennet emulated her mother in looks and character. Elizabeth had attempted to have her father act, but Papa had refused to exert himself.

Into the wildness, which was the Bennets, their cousin was to come. From the reading of his letter, Elizabeth would have expected a portly or even corpulent man, one who was homely and possibly odiferous. Certainly not the man who Kitty and Lydia had seen. Was it possible that the picture she had drawn in her mind was wrong? She was never wrong, was she? No, even if he did not look as she had thought he would, she was certain he was the unintelligent, pompous, yet obsequious man who had written that letter.

In the middle of the continuing squabble between Kitty and Lydia, the drawing room door opened, admitting the master of the house and the man the two youngest had seen outside.

“I told you so,” Lydia crowed and punctuated her remark by sticking her tongue out at Kitty.

“Mrs Bennet, daughters, I present Mr William Collins, my heir presumptive and the man who will be able to throw any of you from this house when I go to my final reward.” Bennet was well pleased at the way his wife’s face turned ashen. He ignored the reproving looks of his favourite daughter. “Mr Collins, my wife, Mrs Frances Bennet, and my daughters, Miss Jane Bennet, Miss Elizabeth, Miss Mary, Miss Catherine, and Miss Lydia. They are three and twenty down to fifteen years in age.”

William knew from his father’s information that Cousin Bennet liked to amuse himself at others’ expense; however, he had not been aware that the man had a cruel streak. Playing on his wife’s worst fear was not at all funny. He came very close to revealing his true character and taking Thomas Bennet to task.

“It is a pleasure to meet so many pretty and delicate flowers,” William stated as he bowed low in the manner that Lady Catherine used to demand. As he watched, Mrs Bennet preened, Miss Bennet looked away shyly, Miss Elizabeth looked on sceptically, Miss Mary looked away not willing to hold his eye, and the youngest two, the silly flirts, giggled.

“Are you married, Mr Collins?” Fanny probed.

“No, Mrs Bennet, I have not attained that blissful state as of yet. It has been pointed out to me that I am of an age to begin seeking a wife,” William replied honestly.

Fanny decided she would need to make sure he married one of her daughters but not Jane. Jane was too beautiful to be a parson’s wife; and besides, she was soon to be engaged to Mr Bingley. No, she would direct him at Lizzy. With her impertinent hoydenish ways, a clergyman would be the best her second daughter could wish to attract. She would speak to Mr Collins privately as soon as she was able.

“Will you tell us about your patroness?” Bennet queried with a smirk. He was sure this would cause his cousin to sing paeans of praise about the Lady Catherine de Bourgh he had mentioned in his letter.

As William was completely aware of what his cousin was attempting to do, he had to decide how to respond. One thing he would not do was dissemble. Giving ambiguous answers that the listener would interpret through the filter of his or her prejudices was as far as William was willing to go. “I am quite willing to tell you about Miss de Bourgh, if you would like to know about her?” he replied questioningly.

Bennet was surprised. Had Collins not written about some noble lady being his patroness. “I thought you said your patroness was Lady Catherine de Bourgh,” he pushed.

“I believe I said that thanks to her bounty and beneficence, Lady Catherine awarded me the living. If I mentioned her as my patroness, it was an error, and I apologise profusely,” William Collins bowed from the waist to his cousin. “Will you retrieve my letter so I may see where I erred?”

“There is no need,” Bennet responded. “My Lizzy remembers anything she has read, so all I need to do is ask her.” Bennet looked at his second daughter.

“Mr Collins has the right of it, Papa,” Elizabeth said. “It is exactly as he stated. He mentioned that lady’s name as the one who awarded him the living, and after that he referred to his patroness without naming her. It seems that we made an assumption.”

“That was my mistake then,” William Collins owned. “I omitted mentioning the name of my patroness, Miss Anne de Bourgh, the Rose of Kent.” He added the last to soothe his cousin’s bruised feelings after his parry had been so easily riposted.

“This Miss de Bourgh owns an estate?” Fanny enquired.

“Indeed, Mrs Bennet. Miss de Bourgh is the owner of Rosings Park, a fairly large estate in Kent,” William reported. “My parsonage is separated by a lane from the great estate.”

“But how is it Miss de Bourgh is allowed to own her own estate, and my husband may not leave his estate to one of his daughters?” Fanny whinged.

“Mamma, our estate has an entail to heirs male,” Elizabeth explained. “If Miss de Bourgh owns her own estate, I am sure that that estate was not entailed, or if there is one, it did not stipulate to the male line.”

“As far as I know, there is no entail on Rosings Park,” William added.

“It is so unfair,” Fanny whined. “Miss de Bourgh may own her estate, while this one will be stolen from us.” She momentarily forgot about how she was going to have Mr Collins marry Lizzy so that she would never have to leave Longbourn, nor ever have to give up her role of mistress of the estate, even after Mr Bennet went to his final reward.

Bennet was enjoying the spectacle his wife was making. The only problem was that his cousin did not look nearly as uncomfortable as Bennet thought he would be when Mrs Bennet made a cake of herself. Could it be that Mr Collins was not intelligent enough to understand the nuances of what was occurring?

For his part, seeing how Cousin Bennet took pleasure in his wife’s insecurities angered William, although he fought to keep it from showing on his face. It was far too soon after his arrival at the estate to show his cousin the truth of who he was. William wanted to learn more before he did so. He looked over at Cousin Mary, who was doing her best to be invisible, and saw her nose was buried in a volume of Fordyce’s sermons. He was surprised that Cousin Bennet allowed his daughter to read the rantings of a man who was not married[3] and clearly had no love for women. He had not been in her company for long, but William wondered why Cousin Mary tried to make herself invisible.

Granted, as she presented herself, she did not look as beautiful as her sisters; however, William believed, if she allowed herself to dress and wear her hair less severely, she would be a very pretty young woman. He wondered if the spectacles were really needed because from what he could see, she was reading over the top of them, not looking through the lenses.

In the time they had been in the drawing room, William had been able to tell that Miss Bennet, Cousin Jane, was the peacemaker in the family. Cousin Elizabeth, aside from her remarkable memory skill, was very intelligent, but she had not said very much, holding herself back, while, he guessed, she weighed his character.

The dynamic between the youngest two was obvious. Cousin Lydia was her mother’s favourite and could do no wrong. Cousin Catherine, or Kitty, as her family called her, followed her younger sister in everything. If, as he was worried that she would after seeing the way she behaved in Meryton, Cousin Lydia was led into sin by one of the officers, the chances were great that Cousin Kitty would follow her younger sister in that as well.