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The curtain parts and the audience’s collective intake of breath washes over me like waves. I step forward, no longer the hesitant newcomer, even though it’s been merely days – something about this place makes it feel longer. It makes me question how long the In-Between will feel.

I approach the ring with deliberate steps, feeling the power of every pair of eyes fixed on me. My lungs expand as I take in as much air as I can and slowly exhale, the faint nerves calming as I do. The music begins, a haunting melody that seems to vibrate within my very bones. As I grip the cool metal, I feel the marks on my arm pulse in time with the rhythm.

One fluid motion and I’m airborne, pulling myself up and through the ring with grace. My body knows what to do now, and I’m refusing to question it. The Carnival’s magic flows through me, and for the first time, I’m not going to resist it ... I’m going to use it.

Chapter 29

I spin faster, higher, pushing boundaries I wouldn’t have dared days ago. The audience gasps as I release the ring with one hand, then both, suspended for a heart-stopping moment before catching myself. Each move is more daring than the last.

Since I’ve been here, I’ve been told of the power The Carnival holds ... the magic that flows through it. I didn’t want to believe it, too focused and confused between the pull I felt towards Kenan and Tobias and finding Evelyn. But knowing that no matter what I do, I won’t ever have her back, has broken something inside of me. No, not broken – changed. Reminding me of how I was the teen with the “attitude problem” or the one who “just wouldn’t listen and do what she’s told”, as my father would say while his drunken self would whip me.

And now, I’m about to use that power for my damn self. From my vantage point above the crowd, I see those golden threads of energy growing brighter, reaching toward somewhere or someone unknown, looking like tendrils lost in a storm begging for an anchor.

I do something impulsive, and I pull on those threads for myself, drawing their wonder and fear into me. I don’t know how I am doing this, but right now my instincts are telling me this is right.

The rush is intoxicating, a surge of power that makes my movements more fluid, more impossible. Like Kenan’s apple trick ... or Tobias’s mirrors.

I catch glimpses of faces in the crowd — some entranced, some unsettled. At the back of the tent, I spot Tobias and Kenan watching, their expressions a mixture of awe and concern. I flash them both a smile that feels dangerous. Kenan winks, but Tobias’s index finger is the only movement he makes as he runs it up and down his thigh.

I climb to the very top of the ring, balancing precariously as it spins, my heart steadily beating. The music reaches its crescendo, and I do something I’ve only ever seen on a screen. I drive forward into the empty air, twisting my body into a spiral. The crowd screams, certain they are about to see a disaster right before them.

At the last possible moment, I catch the ring with one hand, my body arching gracefully below it. The momentum swings me in a perfect circle, and I release at precisely the right moment to land in a deep bow at center stage.

Here I stand. And I’m about to bring everything down.

The silence is deafening for three heartbeats before the tent erupts in thunderous applause. I rise slowly, drinking in their adoration and letting those golden currents flow into me, once again feeding this new hunger within me.

As I exit the stage, performers and stagehands part before me, their expressions mixed as I pass by. I catch my reflection in one of the many mirrors that seem to haunt this area of The Carnival and stop short.

The woman staring back at me is both familiar and strange. My eyes seem to glow with an inner light, my posture taller, more commanding. My lips curl into a smile that speaks of secrets and power. The mark on my arm pulses visibly now.

“What did you do?” Tobias’s voice cuts through my reverie. He stands behind me, his reflection joining mine in the mirror, his index finger tracing my forearm.

“I gave them what they wanted ... what The Ringmaster wanted.” I say, turning to face him.

Kenan appears at his side, his green eyes shining with a mix of danger and pride. “You were feeding from them. Taking their energy.”

“Is that not what I’m supposed to do?” I challenge. “It’s what both of you do … and what The Ringmaster does?”

“Not like that,” Kenan interrupts before I can continue rattling off everyone else in this damned place.

“Kenan and I don’t ‘feed’ at all … ” Tobias says, his voice low. “And you shouldn’t be able to either, especially not now, before you’ve truly joined us or trained for it.”

“Trained?” I tsk. “In those seven years when I’m supposed to be used by the Patrons?”

“We wouldn’t let that happen ... not to you,” Kenan speaks first. “He didn’t mean it like that –”

“But that’s what you mentioned, right?” I ask, interrupting.

Tobias steps toward me, “Emerson, I promise I won’t let that happen.” It’s not the same tone that Kenan uses, one that’s almost like promising a child everything will be okay but knowing you have no power behind it. No, Tobias says it with determination, with truth to his words.

“Layla said at the gathering that most were there from the inner circle ... all but one. You’re one of them, aren’t you?” I think a part of me already knew this, but I want to hear the confirmation from him regardless.

He nods his head, “I am.”

“Thought so. As much I lo—” I cut myself from saying those words, they shouldn’t come from my mouth for two people whom I barely know. “When I face The Ringmaster tomorrow —”

“What?” Kenan presses. “What are you planning?”