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His question hangs heavy in the air between us. The music pulses through my body like a second heartbeat. Tobias’s eyes lock with mine, then drift over my shoulder to Kenan’s face. I feel Kenan’s hand grip my waist harder as Tobias’s hands come to the sides of my neck.

“I want ...” My voice falters as someone’s hand slides up my arm, “to know what all this means.”

“It means you belong,” Tobias says, his voice low and intimate.

“To The Carnival?” I ask.

Kenan’s laugh is rich against my skin. “To us.”

The carousel lights flicker, casting us in a moment of darkness before shining brightly again. In that brief shadow, Tobias leans forward, his lips brush mine — not a kiss but a promise of one. When the lights return, his eyes are darker, his pupils dilated. And I know without a doubt ... I want to know what that promise of being theirs means.

“Come with us,” he says.

Kenan’s hand finds mine, fingers interlacing as he steps back, creating space for me to decide. My heart beats wildly as the crowd around us becomes a blur of movement and color.

I take a step. “Lead the way.”

Tobias takes my other hand and I know ... maybe for one night … I want to feel alive too. Too much has happened in such a short span. Perhaps I am giving in by surrendering to this place, but my willpower can’t seem to find the care right now.

Eyes follow us with envy, curiosity, others ... hatred, but it doesn’t matter as we move through the crowd. My skin flushes as we leave the carousel behind.

“Where are we going?” I ask, though I realize I already know.

“My tent,” Tobias answers, his thumb tracing circles against my palm. “It’s more ... private.”

Kenan’s grip tightens slightly. “Like old times,” he murmurs.

Chapter 23

As Tobias lights a single gas lamp, it’s both familiar and strange. The ornate mirrors still line the walls, but now they reflect something different. No longer the strange images I once saw, they seem to reflect only the room around us, as if waiting in silence for something to happen. I can’t help but wonder where Kenan’s tent is. Does he stay here? Did he? The thoughts are irrational, but … it’s possible my brain is still trying to process what I just agreed to. The way The Carnival and Tobias and Kenan are clutching to the very bones and fibers of my being bit by bit.

“Kenan doesn’t stay here anymore,” Tobias says as if reading my thoughts. He lights another lamp. “Not for years.”

“But it doesn’t matter tonight,” Kenan adds, his hands finding my waist from behind. “I’m here now.”

I turn in Kenan’s arms to face him, his eyes riddled with hunger. “What is this?” I whisper, trying to find more answers between us ... for what I feel ... what I’m going through. The hesitant truth behind what led Evelyn to her decision.

Tobias appears beside us, “This is what happens when The Carnival claims you.” His fingers lightly touch my throat, “when we claim you.”

“And when I claim you?” I ask, surprising myself with my words.

A smile breaks across Kenan’s face, his pierced eyebrow raising in amusement. “Guess that’s what we want to see, baby girl.”

His lips find mine then, hard and demanding. I gasp against his mouth, and he swallows the sound. His hands tangle in my hair, angling my head back. When we break apart, I’m breathless. Tobias watches us, his blue eyes flickering in the candles. He steps closer, one hand cups my face. “May I?” he asks, his thumb brushing my lower lip.

I nod, unable to form words. Unlike Kenan’s fierce hunger, Tobias kisses slowly, deliberately. His lips move against mine with ease, coaxing rather than demanding. He pulls back slightly to search my eyes.

“You’re trembling,” he whispers.

I am, I couldn’t hide it even if I wanted to. My body vibrates between them with nerves and desire. “Between coming here, and now .. this … it’s all ... a lot.” I admit, my words come quicker than I meant for them to.

“We can stop,” Kenan says against my neck, his breath tickling the fine hairs at my nape. His hands still rest on my waist, his chest pressing against my back.

The feeling between them is like fire and ice, both pleasure with the promise of pain. But a pain I’m willing to take to understand what it’s like to be theirs. I shake my head. “No. Don’t stop.” My words are soft, but the insistent thud of my heart is anything but.

Something feels taught in the air, like a string about to break, as Tobias reaches past me, his hand curling around the back of Kenan’s neck. He pulls Kenan forward until their foreheads touch, with me caught in the middle.

“It’s been too long,” Tobias barely whispers, and I feel Kenan’s sharp intake of breath and the quickening beat of his heart on my back.